Backwards // Book One

Chapter 29.

My throat burns as I awake to the sudden sound of our neighbor mowing his lawn next door. I groan slightly and open my eyes. Light is shooting across the room, proving that it's morning yet again. I slowly sit up in bed and turn to look at Harry. He's lying flat on his stomach, his arms buried underneath his pillow. I quietly slip out of the bed careful not to wake him.

I walk downstairs, my dry throat continuing to burn. Water. That's all that I need right now. Even the thought of ice cold water sliding down my throat instantly soothes me. I make my way to the refrigerator, pulling a cold bottle of water out. The house is quiet for the most part, the only noise coming from our neighbor's garden next door.

I take a seat on one of the kitchen stools and pick up a magazine to read from the pile on the counter. I flip through the pages, inspecting the different outfits and makeup tricks. I used to be so obsessed with fashion and makeup. That was my life as a model. Now that I'm nearly six months pregnant, I haven't modeled in months.

I've been asked to appear in pregnancy magazines but I haven't accepted any of the offers. I don't want to pose pregnant and do a photoshoot. I want to be as private as possible with Gracie. She's going to be showcased around enough in her life and I don't need to start it any earlier than I have to.

I shut the magazine that I have and move on to the next one in the pile. This one has a whole spread on the boys and their upcoming tour. Just reading about it makes me sick to my stomach. I still hate the thought of Harry leaving baby Gracie and I for six months shortly after her birth. However, management is hell bent on making this tour happen.

Harry tried talking to them. He tried making them push it back a few months but they just wouldn't budge. His next idea was taking the whole family on tour. I shot that idea down after talking to my mother about it. She said that the road was no place to raise a family and I have to say, I agreed with her.

I want Gracie's home to be here in London, in this house. Not on a tour bus or in hotels. I want her to have a real home with a room of her own, a home with a playroom full of toys and a garden outside to play in. That's what every child deserves. That's what every child needs.

"Good morning..." Harry whispers as he enters the kitchen.

"Good morning..." I say, smiling over at him.

"Where's Lucy?" He asks, pulling the jug of orange juice out of the refrigerator.

"Sleeping probably..." I shrug, flipping through the pages of the magazine.

"What are you reading?" Harry asks, grabbing a glass from the cabinets.

"This magazine that you and the boys are in..." I say, picking it up to show him the cover.

"Oh, that one..." He whispers, nodding his head.

"Do you remember that babymoon thing that you talked about awhile back ago?" I ask, closing the magazine and sliding it across the counter.

"Oh yeah, the Paris trip?" He asks, sipping on his orange juice.

"Mhm, well I was thinking that we should do it soon..." I say, smiling at him.

"Okay. If that's what you want to do, that's what we'll do..." He smiles, nodding.

"It will be our last romantic trip before Gracie is born..." I smile, taking a sip of my water.

"Yeah, we might have to cut back on the romance once she's here." He laughs, placing the jug of orange juice back in the refrigerator.

"So, when do you think we could go?" I ask, shrugging my shoulders.