ɢʀᴇᴇᴅʏ, ɢᴜɪʟᴛʏ.

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"Salt my wounds
but I can't heal the way
I feel about you."

†††

I stared out at the pathway of Biters as two men put one of their own on chains. They fought hard to keep themselves alive while trying to keep the pathway walkable. I notice that Dwight had a man with him as they walked toward the fence. The man had greasy hair, with bangs in his puffy eyes.

'A' was his letter on the sweatshirt he wore.

"I'm starting to like the feeling of this," Dwight told the man, holding the crossbow tighter. I roll my eyes, getting up from the steps, making my way down to them, "I don't need your help." His blue eyes were cold.

"No? That's too fucking bad, cause it looks like you could really need it." I put my hands on my hips, taking in the man that stood next to Dwight, "who's your friend?" I gestured.

"He's not my friend." Dwight held hate in his eyes, "and it's none of your Goddamn business." He grabbed the guy by the arm, leading him back into the building.

"Where are you going? To see Negan?" I followed them through the door. Knowing it would piss Dwight off.

"Leave me alone, I can handle this."

"Are ya sure, honey bun?" I asked him as we walked towards Negans room.

"Why are you following me?" he glanced back at me. I rolled my eyes, the nerve of this guy to think that I was following him.

"Um, I'm not following you. We are just heading in the same direction." I inform him like he was apparently clueless, "cause, you know, I'm going to see the same man like you and your friend." I point out, I could tell I was getting on his nerves.

"You're ridiculous. And you shouldn't be that close to Negan, you're just a woman. You belong with the other wives, not wandering around freely by his side." Dwight clenched his jaw, never looking in my direction.

"Do I detect a hint of jealousy, Dwighty boy?" I use Negans nickname for him, knowing it would drive him up the wall even more, "I mean, is it because Sherry doesn't get to do the things I do? Shouldn't you be thanking me, for keeping him distracted? I could just stop wiggling my ass in front of him and he can go back to Sherry." Dwight lets the man go, turning around to blindly swinging a knife in my direction.

I lean back, just barely missing the blade with my face, "I'm not thanking you for shit! You're not helping me at all! She's not my wife anymore, she's married to Negan!" He kept wildly stabbing and slashing towards me as I backed up, missing every time.

"I think you'll regret not thanking me." I grab his hand as he swung again, pulling his arm towards me to hit him in the throat, "you're gonna love the taste of my dick." I twist his wrist till the knife clattered to the ground. I return to the man, walking him towards Negan once more.

"Where's Dwight?" Negan asked me as I pushed the stranger into the carpeted room, closing the door behind us. Negan sat in the recliner, one leg crossed over the other, Lucille rested in his lap.

"He took a bit of a detour on our way here." I say, smiling, "who is this?" I went over to him to get out of his way. He grunted in reply, putting a hand on my ass when I stood next to him.

"A friend of a friend." Negan got up, "so, you didn't take to the first time I offered you a new life." He walked over to the man, "and you've met my angel." He narrows his eyes as the door opens, Dwight staggered in, "holy shit balls, Batman. You look like you fought with a fucking wall."

"Your bitch did this to me." Dwight spat.

"Watch your fucking mouth." Negan barks, "no one but me, gets to talk to her that way." Dwight stayed quiet, I figured he only did it because I already gave him a beat down and he didn't need another one from Negan.

"Gary and Abigail are also in trouble, Negan. So whatever you're doing with this one, make it quick." I say as I put one hand on my hip, leaning on one leg. Dwight shook his head, babying his wrist.

"Daryl, you're lucky I love this girl right here." Negan held his arm open for me to join him, so I did, "do you know why I love this girl?" Daryl stayed quiet, eyes low, "because she's one hell of a bad ass bitch. Super sexy, strong, one hell of a fucking turn on."

I look at Dwight. He knew I was keeping Negan busy by making him work hard to be by my side. As I said, the blonde should be thanking me that Negan isn't fucking his wife every night like he did before I came along. I still wasn't sure if I even wanted such a whore of a man touching me in any other way.

"She talks us down when Lucille's temper flares. Lucille, she's a stickler for the rules, which you seem to be breaking often." Negan put an arm around my waist, bringing Lucille up with his free hand, "you're lucky I don't want to upset this here fox. Or else, you'd be dead a long ass time ago."

✰✰✰

"There are just some things, he won't ever change for you," Dwight says to me as Negan melts off Gary's face. I gulped nervously, "like the way he handles things around here." Just like he did with Dwight, and that other guy. I press my lips together, watching Negan take a sobbing Abigail into his arms, leading her away as Gary writhes in pain, "he says he loves you, but he has more than one wife. Meaning, that there's more than just one pussy he'll ever have to commit to. Making you, second to none."

"You better watch your mouth, little man. Or I'll break your face in so many pieces, you'll wish you never opened your thin lips to talk me down." I threatened him, but he just laughed. Knowing I was talking shit because I was afraid. I was afraid. Even though I shouldn't be now.

"Second to none, Renegade. He talks you up higher than the sun, but you're not the one he sleeps with at night. You're not the one he's sticking his dick in at night." He says, backing up from me, "I'm not thanking you for shit, because I know he's not truly distracted by you." Dwight smirked before turning and walking away from me.

Clenching my jaw, I head back towards the front fence that protected the factory. I listened to the Biters growling in the dark, looking up at the moon. All the shit I put myself through to keep Sirius safe. I'm not even me anymore. I'm this... This monster Negan talked back up with an enormous ego once more.

This horrible person that he put on a shrine Telling the world he loves me, and I'm the reason why he gets up in the morning. Psh, he's just lucky I don't end his big, bad wolf of a life in his sleep and spike him out on the fence to work for me as a dead man. I kick the fence, turning away to go sit at the top of the steps.

"You look like you could use this." I look up to see Paul, holding a beer out for me to take. He smiled down at me.

"Thanks." I take it anyways, even though I wasn't a beer drinker, "how could you tell?"

"I saw your face when Negan walked away with Abigail. I know how highly he speaks of you, and how close you've grown to him. But he's not going to change. He's a lion, with a pride of women at his dispense." He shrugged, "what's one more candy in the candy factory?" he sat next to me.

I swallow hard, taking a sip of the beer even though I couldn't stomach it on a good day. He was right. I was just another candy bar to be put on the shelf for when he was in the mood for me. I sighed heavily, shaking my head I didn't want to hear any more about how greedy Negan is. I just wanted to get past this now, since I wouldn't be able to look at him the same.

If I had to think about any of it while I was on a booze binge, he might not have any more wives to go back to. I would be standing on a mound of corpses. Negan wouldn't like that one bit. It would be an awaking for him when he was at the bottom where he belonged.

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