ᴜʟᴛʀᴀᴠɪᴏʟᴇɴᴄᴇ † negan✔(Complete)

sᴏʀʀʏ sᴏᴜʟs.

"Pretty isn't everything,
you punk ass."

†††

"Your hair got longer." Negan tells me when we finally made contact with each other after a week of me avoiding him. It was easy enough because everyone got down on their knee when he was approaching. When they did that, I sank back into whatever darkness would engulf me from him. I sighed, lifting up the box of my things. I was moving out from the 'wife' bunker, to where ever there was free space. No one wanted me in their areas because where there was me, there was Negan and they knew that very well.

Even with my plea against being associated with him. Negan always asked me where I snuck off to twice a day, he didn't need to know that Butch was the reason. That dog didn't need these people. It gave me time to keep to myself. I didn't know what to think about him opening up to me about any other woman than Lucille.

"Happens when hair salons no longer exist," I say, not looking at him as I placed my bedding on the cart. I didn't need him in my face at this moment, "can I help you?"

"When I met you, you had short hair." He stopped me from leaving him, "come back to my room with me. You don't deserve to sleep out here with them."

"Yeah? Well, you should have thought about that before you chose Kylie over me, honey." I push his hand away from my shoulder, dragging the cart behind me the best I could.

"This isn't what I want for you." Negan sighed, he stopped me from going anywhere so I had to talk to him about whatever he thought he needed to say to me.

"Don't talk too nice to me. Your kingdom will hear you." I gasp in pretend shock, making him roll his eyes and follow me when I gave up on the cart.

"I see you're back." Dwight snickered, not seeing Negan, "that's too bad. I thought you were gone for good this time."

"I've been back for a week now, you fucking numb skull." I shoulder check him, "where the fuck have you been?" I throw back into his face. He was still on my list of assholes that I needed to scrub clean from this world.

"I've been doing my shit." He followed me as well when I continued on my way to no place in particular.

"How's Sherry? Still the apple of Negans eye?" I asked him, knowing I would touch a nerve with that one.

"He doesn't even touch his wives anymore, for your information. He's to damn obsessed with you and your nonsense." Dwight stopped when I stopped, "including your sister."

"Aren't you afraid to be around me? Especially when you're trash talking your boss?" I asked him, but he just shrugged, "whatever man. But don't come to me when you've fucking lost an eye or some shit." He stayed quiet for a bit.

"You're different." Dwight blinked, looking me over. He tried to figure me out the longer we stood near each other. I couldn't tell him what had changed when I didn't even know what was different about me.

"So I've heard." I continue to walk in no direction in mind. I just wanted him to leave me alone, "it's because I don't want to be a monster anymore."

"You're already a monster. You killed your friends, hurt innocent people just to gain the upper hand. There's no going back, everyone will treat you the same as they did before you left." He tells me.

"And how's that?"

"Like the monster you are. They'll cower, they'll whisper to their children to be afraid." Dwight watched me as I looked back at him. I see Negan not too far behind him, listening in.

"Doesn't bother me. We've all got this alpha male complex about us. We all want to be like Negan, we all want to be alpha. But he's the apex predator." I still wanted to hurt Dwight very badly for all the shit he put me through. The knife on my leg got heavier against my skin, making itself known to me and the rage that burned in my chest. He smirked, shaking his head as he laughed.

Did I miss the joke?

"You're dumb for laughing at the idea. But it's true. Negan is on top of the food chain." I tell him, "and whatever little plan you think you've got brewing, should just be trashed right now. There is no escape. If there was, I wouldn't be here anymore." I look at Negan and leave them both behind to find a new place to stay.

♕♕♕

"What are you doing now?" Negan asked me. I sighed, resting my head in my hands, "I didn't know you could draw." he peeked over my shoulder.

"Yeah, there's a lot you don't know about me." I signed again, holding the book against my knees as I sketched out the Biters that were on the fence, "you would know if you didn't abuse me so much." Negan didn't say anything.

"Could you draw me?" He asked. There was hope that he could spark a conversation that would give him an excuse to stay, sitting on the steps next to me. I rolled my eyes, pulling free a page that was already halfway sticking out. He smiled, taking the thick page from my fingers.

"Of course I can draw you. I can draw almost anything. Not animals so much, but I'm good with people and places." I smiled to myself. I shade off the last parts of my drawing, closing the book and standing up, "I am going to continue my streak of avoiding you. So leave me alone." I had plans to escape so I could be with Butch for a bit.

"You can't avoid me forever. You live under my roof." He stood up as well. Negan folded the paper and stuffed it into his pocket, following me down the steps, "you're still my girlfriend."

"No, I told you I was done when you hit me and left me for dead." I look back at him. I wanted nothing more than to go back to Butch and my house. I didn't even want to think how sad he could be all alone in that house when I was gone.

"I've changed. I promise I'm not going to treat you badly anymore." Negan didn't stop following me.

"I wish I could believe you, Negan. But putting on sheep's skin is not going to cloak the wolf you really are." I held on tightly to my sketchbook as I located my bag and cart. I stuffed my book into the bag, putting it on.

"I'll make you a Reaper again." He offered, "you can go back to the high life."

"I'm not your property. I don't, and never did belong to you in any other fucking way than being your partner." I tell him, "you don't own me, you can't fucking bribe me to do anything."

"Then what are you doing here? I know you still love me." He folded his arms across his broad chest. He raised an eyebrow at me, waiting for me to give him an answer.

"Who said I loved you?" I shot back. Of course, I loved him. It was clear to even a blind person. But was it clear enough to him that I loved him? Or was he going to continue to be one of those people that didn't see even if it's been hitting him the face this whole time?

"Renegade, don't be fucking stupid." Was all he said, looking me up and down, then back down again, "it was clear as the day how you feel for me. I know you still do, if not, you would have killed me a long, long time ago."

"What is this shit? Some soap opera crap?" I scoff. It was the mask of toughness that I wore. I fought very hard not to make a fool of myself and melt in his hands like I wanted to so badly, "I didn't come back here willingly. And I sure as hell, don't want you to fucking Young and the Restless me either. We're in the middle of your stupid ass fucking war, there's no time to fall in love."

"Well, fucking, at least forgive me to some extent. I really have changed for you." He sighed, "let me prove it to you." he watched me.

"Negan, you're a monster. I'm a monster. We kill humans, we kill the dead. It's a dog eat dog world out there." I look back at him over my shoulder. This is where it got hard for me. I didn't want to leave him in this moment. The moment called for forgiveness and angry sex, but it was something I was not going to give into just yet, "I'm going to go do something else with my time. So go back to your throne, your people need to be fear stricken."

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