Save Me || Bucky Barnes

21

For Steve and Bucky, the next few months seemed to blur together. To cope with the loss of his sister, Steve turned to drinking. Although, it didn't seem to have an effect on his body. Doctor Erskine warned him this would happen, but Steve never really believed it. Well, not until now.

Bucky, on the other hand, turned to violence. The littlest thing would set him off. Who could blame him though? He lost his best friend, his soulmate, the one he planned on spending the rest of his life with. Nothing or no one could console Bucky. Steve, at least, understood why Bucky felt the way he did. 

It wasn't until one fateful mission in 1945 that Steve and Bucky really thought about what their lives without Charlotte would mean. Colonel Phillips instructed Steve to lead them into battle against HYDRA. He willingly complied, along with Bucky. He was more than ready to throw himself into danger, if it meant he would get to see Charlotte again.

The rest of the Howling Commandos were a different story. Sure, they were deeply upset by the loss of Charlotte. They all loved her like a little sister and felt a tiny pang of guilt every time they thought of her. But, they knew that Steve and Bucky were going into this mission thinking they weren't coming out.

None of the Commandos wanted to see either of them get hurt, or worse. They tried, albeit unsuccessfully, to convince the two men to wait a little longer, until they had healed from their great loss. But neither of them would hear it. They were convinced the mission had to happen now. There was nothing anyone could do to change their minds.

So, they piled into several army trucks and headed towards HYDRA's last base with Steve leading the pack on his motorcycle. Bucky had been adamant about joining Steve in going in first, but Colonel Phillips managed to convince him it would be better for Steve to go in alone and for Bucky to infiltrate with the rest of the Howling Commandos.

Grudgingly, Bucky sat in the back of the truck with the other rowdy men he called his friends. He sat at the end of one of the benches in the truck, staring out the open, windowless back door. He let his mind wander as they traveled towards the base. He thought about the things he could have had with Charlotte once this godforsaken war was over.  

He thought about the family they would have raised: two kids, a little boy with Charlotte's fair blonde hair and Bucky's ocean blue eyes and a little girl with Bucky's deep chestnut hair and Charlotte's azure blue eyes. They would have lived in a nice, two story house away from the city. Bucky could imagine they would be the type of family with a snowy white picket fence surrounding their house and a dog barking in the yard.

This, this was the future Bucky had always dreamed of having. He always dreamed of having it with Charlotte, and no one else. He couldn't imagine anyone else standing by his side in fifty years, nor did he want anyone else other than Charlotte. 

While Bucky stared out the back window daydreaming, the rest of the Commandos stared dolefully him.

"What do you think he's thinking about?" Jim quietly murmured to Gabe.

"Whatever it is, it's tearing him apart. We need to get him out of his head before he goes down a path none of us can get him back off of." Gabe rumbled, staring thoughtfully at Bucky.

"Hey, Barnes! How do you suppose we go about infiltrating this hellhole?" Dum Dum shouted, waiting for his response. Bucky didn't turn around or otherwise acknowledge that Dum Dum had spoken. He knew what they would try to do, what they were going to keep trying to do. But he didn't want their help or their pity.

All he wanted was to see Charlotte again. He had a faint idea of what he could do. Miss a couple shots, allow the enemy to overpower him. He wouldn't fight back. He didn't want to fight back. He would have to make sure it was quick, so no one could stop whoever tried to kill him. He didn't care if his death was quick and painless, or slow and torturous.