It's Been Killing Me ➢ Camren

VIII: A Loving Mother, Wife and Friend.

I looked between Lauren and Ariana who sat in front of each other. There was an awkward atmosphere surrounding the two. Lauren looked like she wanted to choke Ariana with a dead cat while Ariana looked eerily calm, surprisingly. Although that is quite questionable. If I was in her position, I would literally be cowering in fear. Mom and Dad looked at the three of us, probably waiting for us to explain, "When did you get home Camila?"

"I actually just arrived an hour ago." I told him truthfully. Mom smiled softly at me, "We really missed you so much Mija." My face lit up with happiness and I jumped up to hug her tightly. She embraces me back as she laughs before I sat back down beside Lauren. I take a momentary glance at her. She was biting her lip nervously. I cover my mouth with my hand to contain a giggle.

"Lauren." Dad nodded towards Lauren in acknowledgement, who nodded back to him stiffly. I snorted. 

Considering I told him what happened between Lauren and I and how our relationship ended, I think he's handling it pretty well I must say. That's a relief. We wouldn't want him going bananas on Lauren now do we? "It's nice to see you again Mr. Cabello." She greeted back as she lowered her head slightly. Mom gave Lauren's shoulder a comforting squeeze, "It's good that you look healthy again."

I internally cringe. Lauren hates it when people comment about her appearance and compare it to how she looked before. She says people should just mind their own business. Lauren became more insecure in terms of her appearance after she recovered. Even though she really shouldn't be it still makes me sad that she thinks so low of herself.

Lauren is still the same beautiful girl I knew from before. Although that's not entirely true. I sense this new beauty from her. Not just outside but also from the inside. The girl became even more beautiful as a matter of fact. The day we broke up, she still had her long luscious raven hair. Now she cut it shorter and it really suits her.

However her green mesmerizing eyes were still as bright as ever.

Not only that, she became wiser. Lauren sees the better in everybody but she's not naive. The green eyed beauty knows not to expect too much from somebody that really can't change. I realized that's how she feels about Ariana. Lauren is always defensive and on guard around Ariana. Does she feel threatened by her? 

Lauren used to get very protective around something or perhaps somebody that she loves whenever she feels like they're going to leave her alone all over again. I tend to compare her to a lioness, it's cute really. Aren't lionesses protective around their cub? She's like that. She makes it her duty to protect something or somebody that she loves. I find it so endearing. It's also admirably of her. In fact not many people are willing to go through such things just for their loved ones.

But one thing I've noticed about her...

I've noticed that she keeps everybody close to her. Does she fear that one day they will leave her to fend for her own self once again? I may be over-analyzing things but I know her more than anybody. I know when she's sad. I know when something is wrong with her. But I realized long ago that it's not my responsibility anymore. I've lost that right after I left her alone. I'm not her lover anymore.

Once I fall in love, I fall hard.

As she said before.

Sometimes I think that I'm to blame that she became insecure. Lauren is afraid to be left alone. It's quite worrisome really. I hope one day she realizes that she doesn't need the people around her to become strong. Believing in yourself is always the key. I know she's not a coward. Lauren is an independent woman who doesn't need somebody that once left her already.

How ironic.

It's like I'm trying to spite myself. I do deserve it though. She was never mad at me. It was as if she was even thanking me. I shouldn't be thanked.