It's Been Killing Me ➢ Camren

XIX: Tears and Forgiveness

After the girls and I had dinner at a restaurant that serves Cuban cuisine, we went to explore the place for a little bit. We didn't have the time to explore the place for too long, seeing that we still had to go to Abuela's house. Smiling in excitement, I hailed a cab. I didn't know how we would fit but we made it work. Dinah proposed that we all play rock, paper, scissors and the one who wins will sit at the front. Unfortunately for us, Normani won.

The four of us wouldn't fit inside the cab so I thought of an idea. I quickly went inside first then held Camila's wrist, pulling her to sit on my lap. The brown-eyed girl was startled by my actions, becoming aware of what happened, not even bothered one bit. Instead she adjusted herself on my lap to find a more comfortable position. Ally and Dinah giggled to each other before they went inside too.

After we all got settled inside, I told the driver the address.

Humming contently with my arms wrapped around Camila's waist as I look outside the window, admiring the beautiful scenery that passes by. The car ride was silent, except for the sound of Cuban music playing in the background. The girls were just too absorbed by their phone. Camila couldn't stand the silence any longer and even tried to initiate small talk with the driver. Soon, Dinah became bored of staying on her phone and decided to ask, "Where is your Abueala's house supposed to be?"

"Her house is by the beach, which is pretty cool and convenient. I used to come there all the time for a vacation with my family." I shrugged, not disclosing anymore information, even though they probably already guessed why I said 'used to'. I used to always make up some petty excuse whenever my parents force me to come visit here. My parents aren't oblivious. I'm pretty sure they know the reason why I kept avoiding going to Abuela's house.

I mean, wouldn't it make things more awkward than it is?

Imagine having a homophobic grandmother and a homosexual granddaughter together at one house, feeling obligated to tolerate each other so that the evening wouldn't get ruined. I feel like I'm being suffocated whenever my Abuela pretends that I don't even exist in the world. It already hurt when she basically disowned me but pretending like I don't even exist hurts even more.

It felt like I was being torn apart. My Abuela had such a huge impact in my life. Everyday that passed by felt like I was only living in a nightmare, unable to wake up from the horrible dreams that constantly plagued my mind. But sadly, I had to forget about it. Sometimes, somebody just unexpectedly walks out of your life like it was nothing.

And you just have to accept that fact that the person didn't feel anything genuine towards you. That's why it was so easy for them to walk away. Things come and go, but when they come back, that means that they were meant to stay.

However, there are always people that stays with you because they genuinely care about. Forget about the people that left you and just learn to appreciate the people that stayed.

I was snapped out of my reverie by the sound of Camila's voice. "Lolo, we're already here." She softly patted my cheek to get my attention. She succeeded at getting my attention and I quickly turned to look at her, smiling absentmindedly. "Hmm?" I hummed in question, completely unaware of my surroundings. Camila laughed softly, "We're already here."

My mouth formed an 'o' in realization and just giggled at myself. I payed the driver and then we all stumbled outside of the car. The girls collectively gasped when they got out of the car, the beautiful spacey yet comfortable house immediately catching their attention. I couldn't help but let my lips quirk up a bit, old memories from before playing in my mind. It was like a huge wave of nostalgia hit me.

"I would love to live in a place like this." Normani whistled, looking around the place in amazement. "Same." Dinah nodded in agreement, followed by Ally. "It's been a while, yeah?" Camila asked and linked our arms together to support me. I bit my lip, the memories kept playing in my mind.