Introverted Hearts // Josh Dun

chapter øne :: anxiøus everything

CJ sat on her bed, sitting up with her comforter wrapped around her, her laptop sitting in her lap. She typed quickly, seeing as she had to get her paper turned in at midnight, and it was almost eleven.

Her roommate, Jenna, went out with her boyfriend, Tyler. Jenna swore that she would be out all night so that CJ was able to focus on her work.

So during that time, she typed as fast as she could, listening to her record player that was spinning the album, Born to die by Lana Del Rey.

Her room was dimly lit with her Christmas lights that were strung on the walls. She had the white ones, blue, and multi colored. The blue were her favorite. She liked how bright they were and how they lit up the entire room.

She loved the multi colored ones. How they lit up her plain white walls that she was restricted from painting.

Lastly, she loved the plain white ones. They were her preferred color for when she went to sleep. She had a debilitating fear of the dark, and having the lights helped her the most.

She also had multiple fluorescent neon signs around her room. She had about five or six, but her favorite one was the one that said LONELY FOR YOU, written exactly like that. In all caps and bright red letters.

Jenna often got annoyed by the many night lights in the hallway that she often hit her leg on. Of course, CJ could just turn the light on, but the light switch was directly across from her room across the hall. It was too far for CJ to handle. So, the bright lights illuminated the hallway just enough so that CJ was able to get around without collapsing in the corner and having to call for Jenna to turn the light on. 

"CJ," Jenna would say. "I know you're scared, but I need my beauty sleep."

"What do you need that for?" CJ would reply as Jenn helped her off the floor. "You're already full of beauty."

"Get to bed, J."

As promised, Jenna stayed out as long as she possibly could. However, the Friday night traffic got to be too much for the threesome to handle. So they headed in earlier than planned, at around 11:30.

"I'm home!" Jenna yelled as she came down the hallway, opening her bedroom door and dropping her bag down. Then she opened CJ's door. "I'm home. Do I still have to turn the night lights on?"

"Are you gonna be in the dark hallway all night?" CJ ask, her attitude getting worse by the minute due to the late time.

"I'm guessing I have to turn them on?" Jenna sighed.

CJ nodded as she reached into the bowl that sat next to her, popping a few skittles into her mouth. "I'll turn them off before I go to bed."

"You say that every night." Jenna tilted her head.

"Shh," CJ put her finger up to shush her roommate. "I'm in deep thought."

"Alright," Jenna began closing her door. "I'll be in the living room if you need anything."

CJ went back to writing her essay, pumping out the last two hundred words as quick as she could.

CJ applied ( and got into ) Columbus state. She also attended on campus for a short time. However, her anxiety was too severe and she had to drop out of Columbus and attend an online college.