Introverted Hearts // Josh Dun

chapter seventeen :: holy war

something's wrong with this chapter lmk if you're getting it

iss me ^ let me just say before anyone gets triggered, the beginning of this chapter is not meant to shame or mock any religion or offend anybody. It is simply the character's outlook on it. please don't take it to heart.

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CJ always wanted to believe in something.

She never really had a set faith, but she thought the fact that people kept their fears at bay by praying to a white man in the sky was comforting in a way.

However, there is no way that she could reason with everything bad in her life. If God really loved her, why did he bring her so much pain? They say that everything happens for a reason, so what was the reason behind her anxiety? There was nothing to benefit from, so why did he do it?

She also did not think that committing a "sinful" act did not need a punishment of eternal hell. She thought that getting on your knees and begging to an invisible man was quite laughable, if she was being honest.

So when Easter came and Josh had persuaded her to attend service with him and his family, she felt particularly out of place.

She was up most of the night, tossing and turning while thinking about possible scenarios that could happen. Anything that could have gone wrong, it was in CJ's thoughts.

"CJ," Jenna shook her best friend, who she knew was awake. "Service starts at ten. Come on."

"No." CJ nudged Jenna.

"You promised Josh." Jenna reminded her.

CJ was silent. She squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head.

"You don't want to let him down, do you?"

"What if his parents don't like me?" CJ asked. "What if we have to sing a hymn and I don't know it?"

"You'll be fine," Jenna assured her. "Let's find you some nice clothes."

"I don't have any." CJ sat up a bit.

"What?" Jenna opened her closet. "You told me you were gonna order some nice stuff."

"I did," CJ nodded. "Some nice sweatshirts."

Jenna sighed. "I guess we'll pick from my closet."

"No," CJ groaned. "All of your clothes are tight and colorful."

"What's wrong with color?"

"It attracts attention." CJ replied.

"Come on," Jenna tugged her best friend's arm. "You're gonna get in the shower, then you're gonna get dressed and we'll do your makeup."

"Jenna," CJ whined. "He's here."

"Okay," Jenna sprayed her face, then fanned it with her hands. "All done."

"I guess this is better than the red you put on me for Christmas." CJ sighed as she looked in the mirror. There was a light brown shade painted on her lips that she actually kind of liked.