Introverted Hearts // Josh Dun

chapter twenty one :: cj's turn

tw// graphic mentions of sexual assault

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CJ was laying the Josh's bed with his blanket wrapped around her when she heard the door slam.

"Josh?" CJ called.

Shortly after, Josh entered the bedroom and threw his keys on his dresser, not saying a word to CJ. He went to the bathroom and slammed the door.

CJ quickly got out of bed and softly knocked on the bathroom door.

"Josh?" She could hear soft sobs through the door.

"Baby?" CJ turned the handle and opened the door, seeing Josh leaning over the sink with tears streaming down his face.

CJ did not ask him what happened or why he was crying. She simply took him into a loving embrace.

"There was so many people-" Josh tried to get out.

"I can't understand you." CJ placed her hands on both sides of his face and wiped the tears from his eyes.

"There was so many people," Josh repeated. "I-I was on my drum island a-and it fell and I was in the crowd screaming a-and they wouldn't let go."

"You fell?" CJ tried to clarify. "Into the crowd?"

"There were so many hands a-and somebody even ripped my shirt." Josh held his shirt out for her to see.

"I'm so sorry, baby." CJ pulled him close once again, letting him cry on her shoulder.

"Everybody was so loud-" Josh sobbed.

CJ was quiet as she rubbed back, shushing him until his sobs became small whimpers, until he was silent, the occasion heavy breath escaping his lips.

"Are you okay now?" CJ asked.

"Mhm." Josh nodded before he blew his nose. "It was just so scary, y'know? There was so many people touching me and screaming and it seemed like forever before security was able to get me out."

"That sounds so terrifying." CJ shook her head.

"It was," Josh confirmed. "I had a panic attack during it. And afterwards."

CJ was quiet as she gave him a look of sympathy.

"I was doing so well," Josh whined. "I haven't had one in a few months. I-"

"It's okay," CJ told him. "It's okay to break sometimes. And something like that? I'm sure anybody would have that reaction."

Josh nodded at her words.

"If I was in there, I probably would have died from suffocation. You're so strong, Josh," CJ gushed. "Don't let something like this set you back. You can always start over. There's nothing wrong with that."

"Thank you." Josh sniffled

"Like you said you would always be there for me, I'm always gonna be here for you, okay?" CJ told him, intently looking into his eyes. "To infinity and beyond, right?"

Josh wrapped his pinky around hers before he repeated the sentiment.

"Why don't you get in the shower?" CJ suggested. "I know how you like your hot showers. Maybe that would make you feel better."

"Mhm," Josh nodded. "A hot shower."

"I'll get you your towel, okay?" CJ nodded as she turned on the water.

CJ sighed as she pulled his towel off the back of the door from his room and made her way back to him.

"Take as long as you need, okay baby." CJ gave him one last hug and a sweet kiss on the cheek.