Introverted Hearts // Josh Dun

chapter twenty three :: trying to trust

I prolly won't update until after my concert, which on the 28th at the Wells Fargo center. Hmu if you're going and wanna meet up!!

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"Let me know if you wanna stop. Anytime." Josh told CJ.

Things were getting hot and heavy between Josh and CJ.

Jenna was out for the day with Tyler and Josh had the day off, so he decided to spend the day with his girlfriend.

Hands were traveling. CJ's sweatshirt was slowly getting pushed higher and higher. Josh's blood was rushing while CJ's heart raced faster and faster. Their kisses were getting sloppier and sloppier by the second. Josh eventually tugged at her sweatshirt, making sure he got a verbal yes before her sweatshirt was removed.

CJ was silent as Josh admired her body, wondering what he could ever see in her.

Josh began feverishly kissing her neck, knowing he was in the right spot when he received a moan, which was rare for CJ. She never really made sounds because she did not want Josh to ridicule her for them.

Josh was definitely taking the lead. He was making sure CJ was comfortable before he began with anything new.

This was the farthest that they had ever gone, and CJ was only a little bit nervous. She wanted to please Josh, so she tried her best to keep a cool temperament. She tried to match Josh with his movements, but she had never grinded on anybody before. Josh was obviously more experienced with this situation, so she was okay with him leading. Instead, she let her hands explore every curve of his back, which she had memorized by that point.

"Are you okay?" Josh pulled away and asked.

"Yeah," CJ traced the outline of his lips. "I'm fine."

"Like I said, you can always say stop."

"Shh." CJ shushed him before she pushed his shoulders and they switched positions. She was now straddling her boyfriend.

"I have the hottest girlfriend in the world." Josh squeezed her bare thighs and gushed before he was cut off by a rough kiss. He realized this behavior was wildly out of character for CJ, but he did not question it.

She left a trail of kisses down his jawline before settling just below his ear. She realized she had found his sweet spot by his groan, but this made her freeze up.

"No." She whispered to herself as she started hearing the other boy's groans in her ears.

She climbed off of Josh and tucked her legs up to her chest, covering her ears.

Josh, knowing exactly what was wrong, covered her up with her sweatshirt again so that she was not exposed and rubbed her back in comfort as she began to cry.

"It's okay, baby." Josh reminded her. "We don't have to."

"It's not okay," CJ whimpered. "I-I just want you to know how much I love you b-but I can't show that."

"You don't need to do anything like that to show your love."

"It's so unfair to you," CJ sniffled. "You didn't hurt me. You've done nothing but show me love and kindness and respect a-and I can't even please you without freaking out."

"Unfair to me?" Josh asked incredulously. "I don't get to say what's fair and unfair when it comes to you and how you feel about what happened. If anything, it's totally fair for you to feel the way you do."

"But I wanna-"

"I know you wanna show me how much you love me, but if it overwhelms you, it's not even necessary," Josh told her. "That's what my hand is for."