Introverted Hearts // Josh Dun

chapter twenty two :: house vs home

when listening to the attached song, think of it from Jenna's point of view.

- -

"All of my clothes?" CJ asked Josh. She was finally going back home after over a month of staying at her boyfriend's place.

"Yeah," Josh nodded. "And a pair of my pants and one of my sweatshirts."

"Thank you," CJ sighed as she wrapped her arms around him. "It'll help with the nightmares."

"Are you sure you don't wanna stay?" Josh asked again.

"I want to, but I can't just leave Jenna alone." CJ replied. "And my lights.. I don't wanna invade your room with them."

"I love your lights."

"I miss my stars too."

"I also love your stars."

"I love you." CJ told him.

"I love you too." Josh said quietly as he squeezed her tight, wondering what she would do without him.

Josh did not perceive CJ as weak. If anything, she was the strongest person he knew. When he talked about what she would do without him, he was not thinking about how she would handle it without him, because he knew she could, despite how she thought oppositely. He was thinking about how he just wanted to be there for her. He wanted to hold her when she cried. He wanted to wipe her tears and tell her that someday, her heart will heal, no matter how bad it was broken. So when he said he did not know what she would do without him, he was really thinking about what he would do without her.

"Are you ready to go?" Josh asked when he pulled away.

"No," CJ shook her head. "But I have to."

"You don't-" Josh tried to speak.

"You're not talking me out of this." CJ told him.

Josh sighed in defeat as he slung her bag over his shoulder.

***

"Can you walk me up?" CJ asked Josh. 

"Of course," Josh agreed. "That's another few minutes I get to spend with my girl."

CJ smiled as Josh took her hand and walked her to the front door of her apartment.

Josh reached for the door handle, but C.J. grabbed his hand and stopped him.

"I need to do this by myself, okay?" CJ told him.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah," CJ assured him. "I'm sure."

"Okay," Josh nodded. "Just call me if you need anything."

"I will." CJ pulled him in for a close hug.

"Be careful, okay?" Josh told her. "You can always come back to my place if you need to."

"I know." CJ nodded.

Josh gave her a sweet kiss as he fiddled with her hands. "I love you."

"I love you too."

"I'm so happy." Jenna sighed as she hugged CJ.

"Yeah, uh," CJ's arms were not wrapped around Jenna. "I guess I'm happy too."

"Do you wanna order some dinner?" Jenna suggested. "Our half and half pizza? Maybe we could watch a movie."