Fake (N.S)

40.

Niall's POV 

I fell silent. Harry's words finally sinking in and quite honestly hitting me hard. To say I expected it would have been a lie. Of course, mine and Harry's days of being enemies were long over but still. I mean, he had uttered the words right after he had finished fucking me against my bedroom door. How was I supposed to take it?

Granted, Harry was never exactly perfect when it came to romance but I wasn't either. So a random outburst of emotion was almost expected when it came to me and Harry. Not to mention, I didn't care if it happened like this. 

Perhaps Harry and I were better suited for each other than I had previously thought. Even though going through months of stupid, casual sex and emotional suffering should have been enough proof.

Back to the issue at hand. I had no idea how to respond to Harry's sudden confession. I wasn't about to kick him out so I could 'sort out my feelings' or whatever, but I didn't think I would be able to say it back to him just yet.

My feelings had nothing to do with my hesitation to tell him that I loved him as well. I was so sure that once the shock had worn off and I had fixed up what was happening in my head, I would come to the realisation that I loved him back. I just didn't expect it. Saying those three magic words after doing what we just did was anything but normal.

Then again, wasn't abnormality the thing that made mine and Harry's relationship so different from everyone else's?

I wasn't sure what Harry was thinking after he had spoken. He had said nothing afterwards and his facial expression was giving little to nothing away. All I could see was that he was worried about how I would respond, which I deemed a regular emotion for Harry when it came to me, as I tended to be a little unpredictable at the best of times.

Perhaps he had regretted what he had just said. I mean, saying things in the spur of the moment was a flaw that all humans possessed. Maybe he didn't mean to say it. People always say things they didn't mean when experiencing extreme emotions, didn't they?

His grip loosened slightly, allowing me to stand on my own feet again. I leaned my back against the door, barely able to hold myself up, looking at him with furrowed brows. 

"You-- what?" I finally let out, finding it difficult to speak properly, as if an unknown force was stopping me from forming an actual sentence. 

He sighed, running a hand through his now sweaty curls and looking up at me with an exasperated and almost defeated look on his face. 

"I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry. Look, I think I just made the biggest mistake of my life and I should go before I fuck things up even more," he murmured, a pink tone appearing on his face as he slowly took a step back, putting more distance between us.

"I-- I don't want you to leave," I mumbled.

I was mentally shouting at myself for not being able to say anything more than that. I simply just didn't know what to say or how to say it. The sound of my voice caused him to look up from the floor to stare at me again, the colour in his face not even slightly subsiding.

"I really shouldn't have said that," he let out another sigh.

"It's okay, Harry. I'm not mad at you. That's how you feel, I can't be mad because of that," I tried to assure him, "I'm sorry that I can't say it back, I--"

"Don't love me back? I get it," he cut me off.

"That's-- that's not what I was going to say. I'm just...in shock. You-- you really caught me off guard," I murmured.