PLAYER

Fourteen

Christopher

Christmas Day

I sat around watching as everybody finished opening their gifts. My little brother still gets excited over this. I think Christmas stopped being exciting once I found out my momma was Santa and I found out where she hid the gifts.

I'm not really in the Christmas spirit anyway. I planned on being home for a while then spending the rest of the day with Sabrina. But I fucked that up.

She said that she would never change me, but she was doing it without even trying. As soon as things got intimate, shit got crazier.

Well for me they did. I was falling way too fast and I had to catch myself. Being all lovey dovey isn't something I do. I'm not used to it. But she never forced me to be that way with her.

I'm never the chaser.

After that night up at USC man, I couldn't stop thinking about her. She was already constantly on my mind but after we had sex it became like every second I was thinking about her.

I didn't know how to react to that so I did what I thought what was best and that's just give her the cold shoulder. But that's killing me. Yesterday when she saw me all over Krista it looked like she was ready to cry. That made me feel like an even bigger asshole.

I thought she would've just rolled her eyes and not cared but I really hurt her feelings.

That just made me feel even worse.

I want to talk to her but I know she's not trying to hear what I have to say.

I miss her.

I feel like if we come around each other now it won't be just us chilling and having fun. Feelings are involved now, shit would be way too awkward.

But I've been feeling like maybe I should just let these feelings play out. I know Sabrina is who I probably need in my life. To calm me down.

I don't know how to feel about this.

"Christopher, come eat." My step dad said.

I didn't even notice they left out of the living room. That's how you know she got my head gone.

I climbed off the couch and walked into the dinning room.

"Are you okay?" My mom asked. "It seems like your mind has been somewhere else lately."

"I'm good."

"Alright lets bless this food." My dad said. We all stood up and held each other's hands.

Once he finally finished we sat down and started eating. Everybody held a conversation with one another and I just scrolled through my phone.

"C, you going to Sabrina's place?" Trevor asked.

I just looked at him.

"I'll take that as a no." He said.

"Things between you and Sabrina okay?" My mom asked.