Drowning

Chapter One: The Girl That Everyone Hates

Chapter One: The Girl That Everyone Hates

The pain was like a furnace; constantly burning, tormenting me to the greatest of its ability. Every day was a battle for my life. And school just made it that much worse. I was known throughout Forks as the weird girl who looked like a bum. The girl that was a disgrace to the Swan family. But there was only one disgrace here. The one that remained hidden from view, beneath long sleeved off brand shirts, and cheap concealer that had to be reapplied almost as often as a new bruise formed.

I was the girl that everyone hated, just because they didn't know me. No one did. They called me a skank. I was a virgin. They told me I smelt like waste. I wasn't allowed to "waste hot water" as Charlie said. I hadn't had a shower in years now. Well. Once. But that is a day that sticks to the back of my mind like honey on a spoon.

Flashback

I was fifteen. It was my first day at Forks High. A social worker had come by the barely standing shack the previous week after it was reported that I hadn't ever shown up to school. Charlie's idea -of course- was to stick me in the hot water, saying I refused to go. I got the worst beating of

my life that night. After the man left of course.

Anyways, I had gotten a shower that morning, scrubbing myself clean of the blood and grime, enjoying the hot water on my wounds, as it soothed them. I had used a little bit of the diminishing supply of shampoo, brushing it through my hair with my fingers. I rinsed my hair quickly, the water already getting cold.

Hastily, I climbed out, pulling a towel around my shivering body. I made my way to my blood stained, empty room. I winced, as I carefully patted my few open wounds dry. I slipped a pair of ratting jeans (the nicest ones I owned) on over my bruised, cut legs. I struggled slightly to pull my to small GAP t-shirt over my head. I slid a too big sweater over that and checked to make sure I looked decent.

When I was sure that all the bruises were covered, I made my way down stairs. "Bye dad!" I called from the front hallway. I heard him moving. He stumbled into the hallway to join me.

Glancing up and down he surveyed my appearance. "Did you use MY shower?" He glared at me.

"Um, yeah. . ."

"Did I SAY you could use MY shower?"

I hesitated. "Answer me you little brat!" He shoved me forward, making my back hit the wall with a thud. I whimpered in pain, at my now cracked shoulder.

"N- no,"

"Then why did you do it?" He sneered. His alcohol tainted breath blew in my face.

"I d-don't kno-know," I stuttered nervously.

"Well I think you need a lesson!" He grabbed me by the shoulder sharply and I screamed in pain. "Shut up!" He shouted.

He threw me on the hard kitchen floor, pinning me sharply using one hand for my wrists and throwing his leg on top of my own two battered limbs. He pulled his utility knife out of his back pocket. He slid the switch up, and watched with a grin as the razor slid up.

He brought it close to my stomach, and moved my shirt out of the way. I expected to be dead. But instead I felt a searing pain tear across my torso.

He tossed the knife aside, grabbed me by the shoulder again and dragging me to the front door. He opened it, throwing me out onto the sidewalk. "Don't come back until you can learn your place brat!"

End Flashback

I was dragged violently from my thoughts by the front door slamming. Quickly I straitened my current position in front of the stove, stirring the gravy hastily. A drop splashed out of the pan burning me. I yelped at the contact, instantly regretting it. Charlie stalked into the kitchen, sniffing the air. I could feel his gaze on my back.

"What's for dinner?" He demanded roughly.

"Steak, potatoes and gravy," I stated softly, trying to keep my voice even.

"Good." With that he left the room, stomping his boots heavily as he made his way into the reeking living room and switched the television on.

I retrieved a plate from the cabinet, pulling the steak out of the oven and trimming off any burnt pieces or fat. He hated fat. I sat the trimmings aside, planning to take them upstairs for my dinner tonight. Then I moved to the potato. He hated the skin, so when I pulled it out of the microwave I took a paring knife peeling the skin off.

I set it with the steak trimmings. Hastily, I poured the gravy on the potato, putting the rest in a small bowl and dropping the trimmings and skin into it.

I took Charlie his plate, and watched warily as he sighed in pleasure at the aroma. I handed him a fork and the plate, darting into the kitchen to retrieve a napkin for him. I brought it into the living room, handing it to him. "What a well trained daughter I have," He stated, as if I was a dog, but I didn't dare protest.

"Would you like anything else?" I asked quietly.

"A beer," He stated through a bite of potato, his eyes glued to the telly.

I ran into the kitchen, opening the fridge and yanking a bottle out. I grabbed an expired juice box and threw it next to my own dinner. I made my way casually into the living room, smiling to myself at the large dinner I had managed to obtain.

I handed him the beer, still smiling until he glared at me. All happiness dropped. "What are YOU so happy about?"

"N-nothing," I muttered, looking down.

"Better be nothing." He stated, shooing me away as he turned back to the COPS show.

~.~

I made my way to my room, a half smile on my lips. I had my dinner in my hands, and was going to sleep good tonight. I silently opened the door to my sanctuary. It may have been dirty, but it was the only place that I could live without fear.

I sat on my thin mattress, diving into my lukewarm meal. I moaned silently in pleasure as it slid down my dry throat. I finished it hastily, in fear of being caught if I didn't. When I was done, I took my dishes down stairs, placing them in the sink, and going into the living room to clean up Charlie's mess. He was asleep, his plate on the lamp table next to him. There was still a bit of potato on the plate.

I took it in the kitchen, downing the potatoe before putting the plate in the sink. I went up to my room and pulled my journal out from under the matress. The pen was almost out of ink, so I kept it short.

Dear Diary

Today was a good day. I ate a bigger meal than normal. Tomorrow is Monday. I shall go to school.

Bella

I slid it back under the matress, and shut off the single lightbulb in my room. I was dreading the thought of school tomorrow, but one can't change the future.

'Or the past...'