One Piece X Reader: SOULMATES

Reader X Shanks "MEMES DABS AND MOAR"

Just know that everything I say in this chapter is utter bullshit AND that it's going to get kinda memey (°◇°).

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You were the best pickpocket in town, even Nami 'the cat burglar' couldn't hold a torch to your best heists since you've been doing it since kindergarten, like that time you pulled off that robbery at the cookie factory..let's just say you never had to worry about running out of cookies ever again, you still don't.

Now many people wondered, what was the secret to your success? Was it a power? Sorcery? Plain skills? Were you a deranged alien from the planet zoorga, here to gay-a-fy the entire planet?

Nope. :3

What you used were one hundred percent, genuine, perfected, MEME SKILLZ FROM BIRTH BABY!! YOU HAVE MEME MEME POWERS! \(●□●)/

As a child, you were the meme lord, as in THE meme lord!

You've invented them all, spongegar, the flop, never gonna give you up, dat boi, the doge, u mad bro?, Pepe, freshavacado, I've mcfallen, vines, the dab, even that song, 'dunked on' was a great creation by you.

Of course nobody ever appreciated your interesting approach in life and you often found yourself very alone as a kid, and as a teen, and adult, but that just means all those people are stupid for not seeing what a great person you were.

..When you weren't using your memeness to steal and rob those corrupt policemen blind and the use the money to freak out weird gangs that picked on you for your weirdness, like that time you drew eyebrows and eyelashes on Eustass Kidd while he was asleep and barely escaped with both your hands still intact.

Today was one of those lovely examples, today was going to be one of your most grand heists...you were going to rob the police chief Akainu.

This was going to be freaking lit. XD

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You smiled down from the roof as the sun blared over your head as some sweat formed on your brow, that cream pie in your hand was starting to look pretty appetizing now.. (○°_ °○)

But all thoughts of taking a probably fatal bite flushed out of your system when that cursed police chief gruffly marched out of his office as if it was a funeral everyday, boy, would you feel sorry for the poor fucker who got him as a soulmate.

Puffing your cheeks and readjusting your awesome shades at his depressing grumpiness, you readied your zip-line, pulled on your one piece suit of dat boi with a matching unicycle and blared up the song 'turn down for what' on your expensive boom box. ;D

Obviously feeling confused from the music, all civilians paused in their daily routines and gazed around along with a fuming Akainu to find the source of it all.

Then one little girl in the vast crowd gasped and excitedly pointed up at the sky as you peddled down the zip-line in your suit with a kazoo sticking out of your mouth and completely ready to throw the prank pie. XD

Akainu's left arm immediately blew up into a dripping blob of lava at the sight of you and inhaled as he was about to strike, but with your quick reflexes you smashed the pie right into his face in time during a super high back flip while the music was at it's loudest.

With a muffled shriek he shifted his arm back and used both hands to try and rip the pasty dessert off, but to no avail the baked good refused to move and stay suctioned to his face.