phil
"what?" dan raises his eyebrows in question at the harshness in my tone, and i twist my body slightly so i'm facing him. he is still sitting on his knees, eyebrows furrows and fingers intertwined in his lap as he awaits an explanation for my frustration and i just sigh out loud before starting to speak.
i want to say so much to him, scream at him and tell him that he's an absolute dick and that i'm done with his mood swings. i am not someone that he can toy around with and i definitely don't want to be his friend if he's ashamed of me.
"nothing," the words don't seem to come out, even though i try to, concentrating all my anger and focusing on my tongue, hoping that i say something, anything that would hurt him as much as he hurt me but i just can't bring myself to. his eyes are a soft caramel under the harsh lighting in the tent, and his cheeks are flushed from the cold and just the way i can hear his breathing makes me want to apologise to him instead. "i'm sorry for being so dramatic,"
"no, don't worry about it. are you okay?" his hand moves forward to grip my shoulder, his fingers curling around the muscle gently and i slump my shoulders, nodding my head unconvincingly.
"yeah don't worry," i sigh. "i'm just gonna sleep," i shrug off his grip and his eyebrows furrow further. he doesn't move from his position, simply watches me as i take off my glasses and place them next to my head, slipping inside the sleeping bag and wrapping my arms around myself.
"phil," his voice is soft, breaking me away from the sudden silence enveloping us and i raise my head to look at him slightly.
"yeah?"
"are you mad at me?" he asks, leaning down slightly so we are at eye level and i just shake my head hesitantly, turning my face so i don't have to look at him.
i have no idea why i can't be as mean to him as he is to me. it's just his face, his stupid, annoying, innocent looking face with his stupid eyes and stupid dimples and stupid lips.
he is so fucking stupid.
it is just a moment later when i can feel his arm winding tightly around my waist, pulling me closer to him, his chin resting on top of my head and his heavy breathing making a few tufts of hair get out of their original place. i want to fight off his grip, and yell at him or atleast try to, but i do nothing.
instead, i lean back further in his grip, allowing my head to tilt back and rest on his shoulder, removing one of my arms from around myself to put it over his and i'm surprised when he locks our fingers together, a red blush creeping up my neck at the intimacy.
"i know you're mad at me," dan breathes, his voice confused and apologetic and i close my eyes once the warm air hits the back of my neck. "will you tell me why or will i have to figure it out?"
"figure it out," i shift back further so our bodies are pressed together, and he doesn't seem to mind, tightening his grip slightly on me and i can feel the anger, the frustration slipping further and further with every breath of dan against my cheek.
"are you hungry?" he asks for the second time, and i sigh out loud deciding to answer him truthfully this time.
"starving,"
--
me @ me: i shoudn't make dan cuddle phil it seems too gay
me: *does it anyway*
