dan
fucking phil. he is such an asshole.
how can he get mad at me because i called zeke an asshole? and how can he like zeke of all people? i mean it's not like he is a bad person or anything but they would look stupid together. they'd look absolutely idiotic and ridiculous and idiotic.
fuck both of them.
it's all phil's fault, he always gets like this with me. he's always finding ways to ruin our friendship, always finding ways to fight. i admit, i do overreact and fuel our fights when they are beginning to die but he's supposed to fucking understand that i don't mean anything by that. why can't he just make a stupid fucking joke in the middle of an argument to make me laugh? why is he so fucking oblivious?
god, i fucking hate him.
ten minutes later i have dressed myself in my pyjamas and gotten under the blankets, trying to make myself as comfortable as possible. i should probably get into my own sleeping bag but of course i'm an idiot who is still expecting an apology so we can cuddle afterwards. fuck, i'm so pathetic.
how can phil like zeke and not me? it doesn't make any sense. i mean sure he and zeke can fuck around with stupid plant facts but there isn't a connection between them. i know phil and i are nothing more than friends but we have to be something. there has to be something that makes the sun burn brighter and the wind crisper and the trees just a little bit greener when we're together. there has to be something that makes my palms sweat when he's around and how my heart completely forgets about functionality and begins to skip beats and how my cheeks never seem to let go of the bruising pink colour that i have a love-hate relationship with.
all this cannot be between just friends.
phil has to have some sort of feelings towards me. i notice the slightest variation of colour on his pale skin when we're together, and the way his fingers are constantly messing with his dark hair, and the way his smiles seem a bit more genuine, and the way the golden specks in his eyes sparkle.
maybe i should just ask him if he has feelings for me. maybe i should tell him that he's fucking up my sexuality. maybe i should—
"hey," phil's smooth voice interrupts my thoughts and i look over at him as he pushes his hair off his forehead and gives me a small smile.
"how come you're here? didn't want to go and have fun with zeke?" i spit, sounding more pathetic than i had planned to and phil just shakes his head before getting under the blanket with me and i turn on my side to face away from him.
"i found something in the woods that looks like you," he says, pushing his arm across my waist to pull my back close against his chest and i flush, trying to fight his grip slightly but not too much incase he actually lets go.
"of course you did," i roll my eyes and he wraps his arms tighter around me.
"wanna know what it was?" he asks, and i can already feel my cheeks heating further at the thought of what he might say. if he compares me to a flower i might actually ask him to be my boyfriend.
"what?" i'm trying really hard to sound annoyed but it's hard when his entire body is pressed flush against me and his fingers are circling patterns on my stomach.
"a rat," he giggles and i elbow him harshly in the ribs, a small smile breaking through my lips. he's such a fucking idiot.
"fuck you," i laugh, turning around in his grip to face him and he has an annoying grin on his face.
"why do you keep fighting with me?" he pulls me closer and i rest my head against his chest, feeling his heartbeat pick up the slightest.
"well, you're annoying for starters," i joke and he laughs, his fingers making their way to my hair as he pushes a few curls into place.
"i don't like zeke by the way," he mumbles quietly, and i look up at him, feeling the relief pool inside my chest. i know he doesn't like me but atleast he doesn't like zeke either.
"that's good, i don't either," i can't stop myself from saying, and he giggles slightly, his fingers slipping from my hair and moving across my jaw until his hand rests on my cheek and i suck in a sharp breath. god what the hell is he doing to me?
before i can ask him what the fuck he is planning to do, his thumb pushes against my cheek where my dimple would form and i giggle like an idiot, pushing against his chest.
"stop fingering my dimple you spork,"
--
wow !!! nobody needed a double doze of shit but of course here i am giving it to u !!!!! hope u appreciate !!!!!
