( unedited sorry )
dan
i think i fell asleep somewhere in between crying and contemplating whether or not i should kiss phil again, because when i wake up the next morning i am almost completely on top of him, my fingers wound tightly into the loose collar of phil's sweatshirt and his arms around my waist, causing my jumper to bunch up almost to my mid rib.
everything is blurry for a minute and a half, and all that makes sense right now is phil's soft breathing and the way his chest is rising slowly against my own. my mind is slow, too slow to comprehend that the way i'm staring at phil is barely platonic, and the way my fingers are itching to push the black mess away from his eyes, or to just nuzzle back into his warmth and get a few more hours of sleep is barely normal.
it would help if he wasn't so pretty. icy blue eyes paired with his dark dark hair and cold pale skin paired with his heart warming smile is something hard not to fall for. he is such a strange person, finding interest in the most random things and always stating facts about things that are completely unnecessary—but i guess that's what makes him even more loveable.
i have never liked boys before him. i have never thought about how warm their large hands are, or how comforting their calloused fingers can feel on my skin, or about their gravelly voices and high pitched laughs, or the way their chests look so hard but once you press your fingers against the surface they dip in just the slightest, or their pretty pink lips, or the strange obsession they have with their own hair.
why did phil have to come in my life to fuck up my sexuality?
the confusion of discovering myself in a completely different light and the fact that he doesn't like me back are two things that are refilling the dam in my eyes that is constantly waiting to be broken.
i bury my face back into his chest and he stirs for a moment, but i have slept with him enough times to know that he isn't going to wake up. just as i suspected, he just moves around a little more before wrapping his arms tighter around my body and placing his chin on top of my head. the feeling of him being this close to me isn't supposed to be this comforting but it is, and no matter how many times i deny myself the fact it will still remain unapologetically true.
he seemed so opposed to the idea of liking me, his eyes widening in disbelief as if what i said was something so foreign, so unlikely. my chest still hurts when i think about his response, it was so quick, like he was just waiting to say that even though i can't match his words to his actions—the way he always finds ways to touch me, the way he always makes me laugh, the way he thinks i don't know when he is staring at me, the softest glow of yellow in his multicoloured irises whenever we are together.
god.
but why would he lie about not liking me? why would he like me?
i sigh.
i can't be another case of unrequited feelings, i can't let myself pine after someone who doesn't want me and more than that, i can't ruin my friendship with phil more than i already have.
i can't let these stupid, stupid feelings get in the way.
i attempt to move away from him, gently pushing his arms off but as soon as my fingers touch his skin, he furrows his eyebrows, his arms leaving my body to stretch above him and his fingers rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.
i want to move, but i am too busy looking at the way he looks around in a confused manner before his eyes land on me and when the smallest of smiles break through his lips i nearly lose my breath. he yawns, bringing his arms back down and pulling me closer to him, and all my decisions from minutes ago vanish somewhere in his sound breathing against my hair.
"morning," his voice calms the panic in my mind and i sigh contently, pushing myself further into his warmth.
"morning," i mumble, pressing my cheek against his chest as his fingers wind into my hair, ruffling the curly mess.
"how did you sleep?" he asks and i save my lies for another time.
"you know i sleep better when i am with you,"
--
a lot of you were wanting dan's pov so here ya go we have discovered that danny boi is absolutely whipped wowza
