(hi its been so long ur allowed to yell and this is shit hahahaha that seems to be a running theme in all my books)
phil
"why did i agree to this?" dan mumbles and i shrug my shoulders dismissively, stepping away from him and pressing my lips into a thin line after i take a sip of the tart drink in my hand.
i can't bring myself to look at him after he accepted abel's invitation of them hanging out again. i mean i know i can't choose his friends and i am not the only person he has to interact with but abel? really?
"what's wrong?" he steps a little bit closer but further than usual, because of course he doesn't want people to think we're friends.
"i already told you," i mutter ignorantly and move away from him again in hopes of him leaving me alone. i don't want to talk to him.
"come on phil! you need to stop acting like you're my boyfriend," he whispers angrily. ouch.
"um, i'm really not trying to do that but i just don't fucking understand why you have to be such an attention seeker all the time," it's true, what the fuck will he even get out of being popular at a fucking camp that's ending in three days? it doesn't make any sense.
"excuse me?" wraps his fingers around my arm harshly and i move away from his grip, pushing my glasses up the bridge of my nose and looking away. i don't think i can interact with him without either punching him or saying something wrong, and i'm not in the mood of doing either of those things.
"leave me alone," i pretend to be disinterested in him and he scowls at me before shoving me aggressively to the side and walking off, the action causing my drink to spill on my shirt the slightest bit.
what the fuck is wrong with him?
i don't even know why i came to this stupid fucking gathering anyway. none of my friends are here and all the people dan knows are dickheads of an entirely different species—they are all gross pigs who like to make fun of people and make them feel bad about themselves. i can see their company affecting dan as a person as he stands in a circle of at least six people and they all laugh vilely at a poor girl dressed in bootcut jeans and thick black glasses.
i should just fucking leave but with the way dan is swaying a little bit and the way his cheeks are flushed a deep pink, i don't think i can trust him on his own. i'm still incredibly pissed at him, i don't even want to stay in the same room as him for at least a week but feelings are shitty and command more of a control on your actions than your actual brain does, and it sucks that i care about him so much even when he acts like an absolute dick.
"phil! what are you doing here? this party is for cabbages," a violent slap on my shoulder makes me look away from the, well, cabbage, and i rub my stinging shoulder, looking back at the person.
"zeke? what are you doing here?" i furrow my eyebrows in confusion and he looks around before holding out a bottle full of clear liquid.
"what's that?"
"i was sneaking some free alcohol for my pals," he shrugs like it's the most normal thing and i giggle in response.
"smarter than what i'm doing at least," i sigh, turning back towards dan who is now moving his hips to the music slightly, a beer bottle pinched vicariously between two fingers and his bottom lip caught between his teeth.
"what are you doing?" he asks, following my gaze and i look away, feeling my cheeks grow hotter.
"n-nothing actually, um, dan, he,"
"you guys had a fight or something?" he asks and i quickly shake my head like the idiot i am because how can i ever not repress my problems and talk about them like an actual adult? never!
"nope, he just wanted to come to this party and i heard there was alcohol so i-i thought i'd come to keep an eye on him," it sounds weirdly parental when i explain it to someone else but i know dan can't handle his alcohol. multiple scandalous pictures on facebook have rendered the fact true.
"you sound like a mum," he confirms. "he'll be fine, you should come with me! it'll just be you, me, jake and matt,"
"but da—"
"he'll be fine phil, he looks like he's having fun without you," he says in a softer voice and looks at me pitifully. the raw truth of the statement tastes like bile on my tongue.
"yeah you're right," i look at the way dan now has his arm around some girl's shoulder and i shake my head, downing the drink in my hand. i'm so done with him. "he's having a lot of fun without me,"
+
"n-no he was, was acting like a dick, and i was like, what? who? and he just said i have other fries, friends i mean," i blabber and matt looks at me with wide eyes, nodding his head with utmost interest in my rant.
"yeah some people dip their fries in ketchup, i get annoyed too," he says and i squint my eyes at him in confusion.
"wait, no, i wasn't talking about fries," i furrow my eyebrows.
"no you said dan has other fries and like," he waves his hands around to prove a point. "i get it, people who eat fries from anywhere other than mcdonalds—"
"what the fuck matt that's not even remotely close to what, what i've been t-talking about,"
"did you know i once met a girl who liked oysters," he scratches his head and i roll my eyes. i don't even know what i'm talking about anymore.
"why would i know that?"
"want me to tell you a-about it?"
i look at the time on my phone and the analog reads 2:03 am, will dan still be at the—no, no, no. it doesn't matter.
"sure," i grab the bottle of liquor and pour myself another drink.
i'm not going back to the tents tonight.
--
hi thanks for sticking around its gonna be over soon also its shit but read it fuck u sorry im a mess
