Author: adityadd
Cover: It's nice. Regarding the text, it's easy to read. However, if you want a real good rating, I'd advise removing the blue outline around his head. There's just too much color blending into his face and it doesn't look very professional. It's still nice if you want to keep things simple.
Blurb: It's way too long. I'll be honest with you, a lot of people on Wattpad dislike long blurbs. I know that from experience and being critique myself. You explain too much of the story in the blurb which leaves not much room for imagination.
You should simply leave it at, "Something lurks in the basement of the Thompson House; something dark, something sinister, something diabolical.
Something hidden not only from the curious folks of Merquell but also from the sole proprietor of the Thompson House, Julian Thompson or, as you may call him now, Jonathan Benedict himself.Something so powerful and malicious, its evil aura attracts every foul thing that walks the earth. Yet it stays hidden for it's protected by some powerful spells casted by Jonathan's ancestors. And it must stay, at all costs, hidden."
Or just shorten it. It's a good blurb and it sounds interesting from the first sentence, but please shorten it.
First Chapter: The prologue caught me from the start. There were no mistakes that I noticed. It was interesting, definitely pulling me in for more.
The first chapter is well written. It's dark and sinister from the start, jumping straight into action. I love that! The paragraphs aren't super long or short. Everything flows gently, driving into the next scene. I'm in love with the way you described the house. It sounds really cool. Points for imagination there! Great job and great work there.
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The REALM OF CRITIQUES
RandomA reader's first impression is everything. This is your destination for basic critiques to help you find and keep an audience. A member of The Cryptic's High Council will offer their perspective on your cover, blurb and first chapter, including ove...
