Forest's Fate

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Author: @MidnightSky987

Cover:

It's a cute cover with a cat, simple yet catchy. The black background makes me wonder what sort of sinister delights are in store for this cat, Forest (who looks quite sweet, really).

Blurb:

At first, I'm thinking...Hmmm... YA story, but it takes a step into something darker (hurray!). So, cute cat meets a bunch of nasties? This is something that will make cat lovers happy. I'm not super sold on if a non-cat lover would pick it up, but why not? 

Prologue:

The first sentence was a great one when you introduce us to Gardinia, but I believe everything else in that first paragraph needs to go elsewhere. From the second sentence, you go on to talk about an invasion by the rebel group, the Enemies, then rather bluntly move on to the description of Gardinia. This makes the start feel choppy. I believe it would flow better were the mention of the invasion a few paragraphs below, where you begin to speak about the rebel cats.

I like the feel of this story, yet I would have loved a bit more description. Some parts felt rushed. It was like I was reading one of my scary YA stories from when I was a kid, nice but not something that I'll remember once it's done. Your grammar and wording are pleasant, this makes your story easy to read. But your reader does not get sucked into the story, it feels like they are watching from the outskirts.

What sort of powers do these 'Superior Cats' have? You say the cat's powers make them higher than the other meow-meows but it's all very vague. A mention of some of these powers, and how these kittens act, would have been puuuurrfect.

Though it needs a bit more work, and a lot more darkness in it, all in all, this is a nice lil' story. Good luck, darkling! 



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