The REALM OF CRITIQUES

Shadows of Corruption

Author: @darkflame02

Cover:

A professional looking cover, it gives off a magical and fantasy element and the light and dark colours work well together. Perhaps the butterfly covers a bit too much of the letters in the title - for instance the people who see it for the first time might have to think twice about what the word is. But that's a minor nitpick.

Blurb:

It works well and sets up the story. I would remove 'in a bed or' in the sentence '...paralyzed little brother stuck in a bed or wheelchair, no need to be too specific in the blurb. Also it's best to avoid starting a sentence with 'And', as some people might take that as a hint of bad writing and be put off the story. It mentions a rebellion leader, but does not say what the rebellion is. Overall it does make the story sound good and should entice many readers.

Chapter:

There is a lot of tension in the first chapter and it raises a lot of questions. There could have been some more information and detail in there, rather than mostly just tone and incoherent thoughts and motions. It would have been good to get some character information, or details of the world or more on what the current situation is. You want to intrigue the reader but also give them enough to make them interested and keep going. 

The first thing that came to mind was that some of the sentence were quite long and wordy, and a bit hard to follow. The imagery is beautiful and the scene works well, although some of the wording felt off. The tense shifted from past to present a couple of times. Not sure why the two images of the birds were in the chapter, but that kind of thing can work well on Wattpad. 

The mystery and intrigue is great for sure, and it seems like a good start to an interesting story.