Author:
@trip4life
Cover:
The cover is blurry. It is not in focus and that makes it unattractive.
Blurb:
Unfortunately, the blurb does not grab me, it needs a lot of work.The idea is lovely, so editing will help.
Chapter 1:
The very start is interesting enough to keep me reading and I find the idea of the elements clever.
There are quite a few spelling and structural mistakes. For example, though 'water' is a thing you have used it as a person (or at least as a proper noun) so it should be capitalized.
As I read on, I find more errors, there are simple thingsthat distract me from the story (such as It'S). There are a fewthings I don't understand, such as when they meet God and they burstout laughing. Was it because of the way Air spoke? Was it something else? Youhave portrayed God's presence to be mighty and powerful, so much so the dome trembled. So, why the giggling? It does not fit in.
I find it odd that God would say 'Hold your horses.' Remember,each character has a unique voice. God is a powerful being, youshould use vocabulary according to what a person is like. Do not makeGod out to sound like a regular Joe, unless you are writing asatirical comic book.
Those the idea behind this story is lovely, it needs a lot ofwork. Think of the characters' voices, of your settings, etc. Keep inmind that too many spelling/grammar and structural mistakes will takea lot away from a story.
Good luck, darkling!
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