Hopelessly Devoted

Chapter 12

Chapter 12
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My eyes slowly creaked open, and I realized that it was still dark outside. I looked over on my dresser and grunted out loud when I saw the time... 5:15.

If it was any time before 5:00, even 4:59, I would be able to go back to bed. It wasn't so much a physical rule of sleeping, but psychologically I included 5:00 in my "might as well get up even though its a Saturday" mentality.

I decided to give sleeping a try anyway, as I was trying to remember why I felt like actual shit... even more than usual.

Just then all of the memories from the previous night flooded into my brain like a tsunami crashing at it's highest velocity into the gray, gloomy city that laid within my brain... totally demolishing any stable structures of false safety I had developed.

Recalling all of the memories took me about 10 minutes, and only after those ten minutes was when I realized that I had been crying.

I felt violated all over again. Ashamed all over again. More tears fell as I remembered the disgusting feeling of his hands on me, almost as if that was happening all over again.

Trying my hardest to push all thoughts out of my flooded brain, I checked my phone.

4 new messages..

Mom

Hey honey... I know that you are hanging out with your friends tonight, so when you get back I just wanted to let you know that I won't be home tonight. I got a job interview a while away, so I will have to stay in a hotel room tonight. I'm excited. I think that this job will really help to turn our lives around for the better. Love you, be safe<3

I smiled to myself when I read this text. I guess that I had been a little too quick to jump to conclusions lately. It was wrong of me to assume that in this new life she would stay a druggy and not care. I texted her back assuring that I had been safe and that I loved her. Next message...

Scarlett

Hey Cryst! Just checking in to make sure you're okay... Me and Vanah are here for you. Whether you want to rant about it or cry about it, we got you. Txt me if you want to make any plans! xoxo

I appreciated her text, but I decided that I would respond to that later, letting my laziness get the best of me.

Eli

Hey Crystal. You left your pocketbook here last night... I can't bring it to you today but I'll try to have one of the guys bring it to you.

Eli

Sorry again about last night...

I wasn't quite sure of my initial reaction to his text, but my emotions turned somewhat sympathetic as I responded to him. I made sure to tell him that wasn't his fault.

I got out of my bed and didn't even attempt to put together the pile of blankets and pillows. I felt like total trash.

As I was walking to my staircase the full reality of the night before hit me. I was almost raped.

I stumbled down the stairs and stopped at the bottom to cry. It had been so long since I had felt that violated, but at the time it felt like it was the only feeling I had felt in my entire life.

I slowed my breathing down and gazed up to my mother's room. She wasn't home, so I might as well have taken advantage of her magical potions that were probably all around her room.