Christmas just passed and i saw my mother that day giving me crappy worthless presents,except the laptop that my dad and my stepmom told her to get me because they knew i really wanted it.I think giving me stuff makes her feel less guilty even though it has nothing to do with my happiness.
They have really done a lot for me and only want me to be better than they were, but its hard without my mom because we had little fun things we used to do like on Wednesday we would go get Jamba Juice, then go get our nails done.And me and her would always eat cheese with apples as we watched TV shows or a movie.And she would always cook when i was doing my homework at the table with my sister.
Our house was awesome and she was in the process of remodeling it but never had the money to finish it so she moved after i moved in with my dad,stepmother,and stepbrother.
When i moved in with my dad they were all so welcoming and they are my family now.
I used to be so sad and would cry every night just thinking about my mom but i realize now she hasn't done anything to try and get me back so i'm not going to cry over needing her.And i understand that every girl needs there mom but i have my dad and my new mom who didn't abandon me, and didn't just let me go,and isn't late to anything(which is really nice because my mom was late to EVERYTHING).
Now as a teenager going into high school soon, i see some things that not every normal person does and doesn't do, like...when our family dog died i didn't even cry,i guess i don't cry at depressing things,and sometimes i look at certain people and just want to run in my room at cry because they creep me out so much, that's why i hate new people because some make me feel uncomfortable. I guess i just grieve a different way then other people because i've been through so much. And when someone is late to pick me up i freak out and get nervous because i feel like its just my mom leaving me again.So yes, not having your birth mother, the one who took care of you,the one who gave birth to you and protected you,messes with a girls head.Especially being a teenage girl in this generation, with all of this hate and online bulling is hard .
That's why i try to take each day step by step,trying to pay attention to friends and find all the love i can.
(Im starting to tell people this story, they seem to enjoy it a lot so i will keep writing!Love you guys...Stay Alive | - / )-Katey<3
YOU ARE READING
I Will Fear The Night Again
Non-FictionDon't mind me,this is just a boring journal.Bye Bye!XOXO-Katey: )))
