I Will Fear The Night Again

Chapter 24(Future)-

Today...again, i felt emptiness.I actually distracted myself more than other days though.I laughed a lot with my friends,but its just high school that's scaring me.

I don't think i'm ready to grow up.

I want to be young again.

To have no worries and just be a kid,but no,i have to worry about grades,friends,and not pushing my family away.

That's not even the big problem right now.I just have been so...empty lately.It's starting to happen more,and more lately.

I don't like what I've become.

I don't like whats happening so i want to change that.

I wrote my mother a letter saying everything that i felt she should know before i finally let her go.I think i have all that off my chest now...but i still need to give it to her.Am i in the wrong though.I mean it's a pretty sad, and emotional letter.But it's what i felt about her so she deserves to know why i'm kicking her out of my life.

Right?I guess i'm questioning myself to much.I need to stop overthinking everything.

I don't really know,but i do know that i want her away.I don't need the constant thought of her maybe coming back one day for me.Either she's here,or shes not.My mom can't keep leaving me for months on end as i forget about her slowly and start to heal,then she just shows up out of nowhere and acts like everything is okay.It makes me moody and cranky toward the people that i love,and i don't want my family to think that i don't care,cause i do.

When she comes around for awhile i start to get all happy,but rude to my real family.And when she leaves i get all sad and emotional again.Then i start to heal emotionally and connect with my family more,i forget about her.But the cycle continues ever couple of months.

Is she worth being emotionally damaged everyday?

(What up readers?I've been okay i guess.Go dm me and tell me how to improve my stories.And if you guys need anything,i'm here.DMs are open to whoever.I'm always here!)XOXO-Katey