Chapter 9(Crazy)-

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by Kateyalyson

by Kateyalyson

I used to put out a smile and make people laugh all the time.

I hated it.

I hated faking a joke and laughing.I just want to be me.

That's part of the reason i hate school because i have to put on a show or people will ask whats wrong.It would be a drastic change from talkative me, to a quiet shadow.

Everyone would notice...they already do.

I'm not sure whether to keep going with the being fake...because sooner or later i'm going to tear myself down, its already bringing me down.

I have such a low self esteem that when people give me compliment, i don't even say thank you because i know there lying...I get nervous and Luna starts to shout words into my ear.

I hate knowing that life could always be like this,i hate knowing that i might never be happy.

My parents are getting me another therapist and they keep calling it "help", i don't want them to call it help because it makes me sound crazier than i already am.

I wish i wasn't this way.And if i wanted help i would talk to my friends, i don't want help right now...i just want to be me again.

I know what your probably thinking, "in order for you to be okay then you need to get help", blah blah blah. I want to happy right now, i know these things don't happen over night,oh wait...these things don't happen to normal people, i forgot i'm c R a Z y.

Sometimes i feel motivated to write, like a book, journal, or even a story but other times i don't,other days are worse than others because Luna will get to me those day.I try to block her out, but how would you block someone out that could be your only friend.

I mean she is always there for me when no one else is.When i'm alone...shes there, when i think about my mom...shes there, she does make me feel like i'm not my only friend.

I'm not sure if she only tells lies.

My current online bestfriend said she has these too, but they tell the truth sometimes...so that must mean some of the stuff Luna says could be true.

(WOW!!!TWO UPDATES IN A DAY!!! Go me...Anyways, thanks for the reads on my fan-fic, i know its dumb and sad but i'm proud of it...so thanks.And keep reading as always. XOXO)-Katey