I Will Fear The Night Again

Chapter 12(Silence)-

I hate when people assume that i'm ignoring them...i didn't notice i was ignoring people because Luna always talked over them.But someone told me i was ignoring them and i just broke down.

I had no idea, so i just didn't say anything about it.I'm not sure how to fix this,its starting to become in the way of my relationships.

I feel like people think i'm being disrespectful,i'm not...and i'm so so so sorry i feel absolutely bad about this.

I love my whole family and i never wanted my head to get in the middle of my loved ones!

I don't know how to stop her, and i don't know what to even tell people...but i need my friends and family to understand its not me and i feel horrible that i can't hear you when you talk,or think that i'm pushing you away because i would never.

I just want this to go away and never come back.

I wouldn't even wish this on my worst enemy!

But people need to consider the fact that screaming at me, and telling me i'm dumb is not the way to get me to stop thinking.

Even i don't know how to stop thinking.

Kids at school push me to far...i take things as a joke all the time, but when you tell me "i'm so annoying, and that's the reason my mom left me" i will hate you...and it's not because i would be mad, it would be because i know it's probably true.

My friend said "i'm sorry, but it's not true...you know that right", but it's not like she would know any better, but it's okay cause i still love her!<3

I just want my parents and others that i'm not doing this on purpose.

Yes i miss my mom sometimes but i love my parents,and i love my brother.

I don't know where i would be without all of them but i don't want my head being a problem anymore!

I don't want my family to feel like they are unloved my be, because it's not true, and i would never...ever just ignore someone on purpose knowing that they would get mad.

I just don't want people or even teachers telling my i said something wrong, like and answer to a question, or a daily conversation.

When someone tells me i'm wrong all Luna mimics in my head is "dumb girl", "failure", "odd one out" ,"idiot", "can you do anything right?", or "you will never be right".

I try to close my eyes and hum a song sometimes and it sort of gets her to a whisper voice, but other times... she just keeps going with those words until i cry.

She is never satisfied until i cry.

Ever!

I tried not talking too much at school, or at home sometimes, but everyone asks "What's wrong?" and i don't want them to notice that i'm just minding myself.

I just don't want to say the wrong thing to make the voices get louder, sort of like make her get to me.

I always have days when she gets to me the most!

(I know some people are reading this that i know and they knew none of this about me...its kinda weird telling you guys about my life but hey who cares anyways....k bye!XOXO)-Katey)))) :