I Will Fear The Night Again

Chapter 26(Vibes)-

As a teenager,mistakes happen,you're trying to find yourself i guess.

So i assume recently someone misunderstood my feelings and our relationship.I was trying to make new friends and be a little more social,especially for high school coming up and all.But this person thought i was interested in them in a dating kind of way...well that wasn't the case at all.I kinda feel bad here because this person was depressed and i thought,well maybe i make them happy so it was okay for them to like me as long as it doesn't go anywhere because i was not into them like that.I didn't want to hurt their feelings either because i know what it feels like to want a friend to talk to or to be close to.And i just wanted to be friends with them to make them happy and to be honest they were really kind,so i liked being friends.But it got way out of hand.They said some more than friendly comments to me and kept touching,and flirting with me.So i ended our friendship because i can't be friends with someone like that.But i think i hurt this person even more than i ever could have.

Another reason i wanted to end it was because i knew that this kind of friendship wasn't moral at all and it felt wrong,maybe i was getting signs to just leave that situation.I felt that way because i started to drift away from friends and i got like 10x more anxiety and i was just sad and quiet at home.I felt like i couldn't trust anyone at that point because the more vulnerable i am,the more of Luna i hear.And people around me may not believe this whole Luna and anxiety thing,i mean i get it,i sound crazy.

I especially got the vibe that people think i'm being over dramatic because once when i was at youth group and my friend was sharing a kids suicide story at her school.I was engaged in the conversation but wasn't feeling any particular emotion,but i suddenly started to giggle.I covered my mouth and looked down slowly because i felt so bad.I literally still have no clue what happened or why i laughed.

I just don't feel the right feelings sometimes,so i react in dumb ways.Crazy,right?

(What up losers?i need a life no joke im so bored so im just updating whoops!)XOXO-Katey: ))