I Almost Died For You

Chapter 3

*MAY BE TRIGGERING*

Once I get home, I ran upstairs and into my bathroom. I immediately grab my blade and sit on the ground, and I started sobbing. I'm such a mess. I'm so fat and ugly; no wonder Luke doesn't like me. Who could ever love a fat, ugly monster? I'm going to die alone. I don't have anyone here for me anymore. I gripped the blade in my right hand and started to cut up my wrists. When I was done cutting there were probably about 20-25 cuts. I watched the blood flow out of my wrist and drip onto the floor. I just wanted to die. I slowly got up and rinsed off my wrist and I wrapped it up and headed out of my bathroom. I went downstairs and decided to eat half an apple and drink water because I felt like I was going to pass out. I sat on the couch and watched Captain America: The Winter Soldier.

*DONE

About an hour passed and I heard a knock on my door. I sighed and started to get up. When I opened the door I was really shocked. It was Ashton; I looked up at him and shock and started to close the door. He put his foot in the door to hold it open. I kept trying to close it and he said, "there is no point in trying to close it, it's not going to close." I stopped and opened the door. I looked at him with a questioning look and he said, "Not going to invite me in?" I made a hand gesture that signaled him to come in. "Do you talk? Because I have never heard you speak." I nodded and he looked at me with his eyebrows raised. Then I immediately said, "Yes...sorry." He then started to look around my house. After about 5 minutes of awkward silence I said, "Why are you here?" He looked at me and held my backpack up. I walked toward him really slowly and grabbed the backpack. He walked toward me and pushed me up against the counter. I looked down and covered my face in fear. "Delilah? I'm not going to hurt you. I just didn't want you to run once I gave you the backpack." He then backed away and you looked up at him and ran up the stairs. He obviously walked up after you and knocked on your bedroom door. "Delilah? I'm not here to hurt you or yell at you. I just wanted to talk." I looked at him in shock and then said, "Why do you want to talk to me?"

Ashton: "I just, I saw your wrists today..."

You: "W-what?"

Ashton: "I-I, today I saw your wrists when Zach had you up against the lockers..."

You: "I-I, w-w-what?"

Ashton: "It's okay... I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I just have a few questions."

You: "Since when do you care about me?"

Ashton: "I don't know... I-I just wanted to ask a couple questions and let you know that I'm here for you."

You: "W-What are y-your questions?"

Ashton: "When did you start? Why did you start? Was it because of us?"

You: "3 years ago, many reasons, and I'm not going to tell you any of those reasons so don't even ask."

Ashton: "Why won't you tell me?"

You: "Because every single day, you and your friends have tortured me. You guys have bullied everyday for 2 or 3 years. You don't care about me. Your probably just going to use this against me."

Ashton: "I promise, I won't use it against you. I just need to know if this is our fault. I want to know because I can get them to leave you alone. I can get them to stop."

You: "It doesn't matter. It may or may have not been your fault. Let's say you do make it stop, they won't listen. They will want reasons and everything and I know for a fact you are going to tell them."

Ashton: "I am here for you. I can be your friend if you want? Just tell me why, I want to help you."

You: "So now you know I cut and you think that you can fix everything you guys did?!? You can't. Ashton it's not that simple, okay?!? The damage is already done. It doesn't matter if it continues or not."

Ashton: "Delilah? I am really sorry for everything that I have ever done to you. I am here for you now; I want you to know that. I don't care if they judge me for sitting with you or anything like that. I care about you. I have tried to make them bully you less and less. I promise you that I am here for you. I don't care about what they say..."

You: "Ashton?"

Ashton: "Yeah?"

You: "Why do you care so much?"

Ashton: "Because I once was in the spot that you were, I use to cut myself. I want to help you through whatever your going through and maybe I could actually live with myself. I hate myself for what I have done to you and maybe if I help you through something I won't hate myself as much."

You: "Ashton? I'm sorry that you have been through what I have. But, do you really want to help me? Do you really want to hear my problems? Do you really want to be my friend? "

Ashton: "Delilah, I want to be here for you. I know that it sucks not having anyone there for you. I don't know if you have friends or anything like that to help you through this but if you don't, I am always here for you. I want to help you through this and be your friend."

You: "Okay."

Ashton: "Okay?"

You: "I will let you help me. But, I am not going to open up to you that easily. I am going to make you work for it. Not actually work by the way. But, I don't want you hanging out with me at school... you can always come over after school or before school but just not at school."

Ashton: "Why not at school?"

You: "If you hang out with me, you will get bullied too. I don't want that to happen. Plus, you will loose every single one of your friends and I don't want that to happen either."

Ashton: "Okay, fine... but I will talk to them and try to make them lessen up on you."

You: "Thanks but there is no need for that."

Ashton: "I am going to do it either way. You can't stop me."

You: "Fine...Fine... But please don't tell anyone about me c-cutting."

Ashton: "Okay... I promise."

You: "Thank you."

Ashton: "Hey, I got to go. I will come over tomorrow at around 2? Is that okay?"

You: "Yeah... that's fine."

You both start heading down the stairs and once you guys are at the front door. He hugs you, and you are taken by surprise so you just stand there. He says, "Goodbye Delilah...I'll see you tomorrow." You stand there and wave. When you close the door, you had to go sit down and think about what actually happened. You were shocked... You didn't know what to do. So, you just went to the couch and watched a couple movies and passed out.