I Almost Died For You

Chapter 17

Dr. Ross checks your breathing, and asks you to walk across the room and back. You just shook your head. Your legs were killing you from just standing here you definitely couldn't make it. You just stared to the wall across the room. It seemed so far. Dr. Ross looks at you and says, "Tell me why you don't think you can make..." You just stare blankly at the wall and say, "My legs hurt from just standing, I highly doubt that I can make it all the way across the room." You felt everybody's eyes on you, that was making you even more nervous and you just wanted to shout and tell them to stop fucking looking at you. You just wanted to be alone, you wanted everyone to leave. For once in your life you wanted to be alone. You just don't want people here to see you fail.

Dr. Ross: "Delilah, I need to see how far you can walk without your legs giving out."

Ashton: "Delilah, look at me please."

You slowly move your eyes off the wall and to Ashton. He looks so sad and worried. You just wanted to die. You didn't like making people feel bad. You looked at him and took in his features. His hair looks like he has been pulling at it, his eyes are red and swollen from crying, his nose is slightly red probably from wiping it, his lips were a darker red than usual probably from biting them, and his cheeks were stained with tears.

Ashton: "Delilah, I will walk right beside you. If you fall, I will pick you back up. I will be right by your side. Let's see how far you can make it. If your legs give out and you feel like you can't walk anymore, I will carry you back to bed. Please at least try to walk."

Ashton, Luke, Calum, and Michael all get up and stand by your side. You look at them all in shocked. They were willing to walk across a room and back for no reason. They didn't even have to, they could easily make it but they could sense that it would be a struggle for you. You looked back at the floor and then up to the wall. The wall was a plain white wall, with a bunch of stupid ass pictures on them. You really hated all the pictures. Why couldn't you be as happy as them? Will you make it out of the hospital? Will people be that happy to see you recover? All these questions started to pop up in your mind. You couldn't believe that this is where you are. You didn't think it would get this bad. You thought you would be okay, but know you don't know. Will you even make it out? Will you ever have a first kiss? Or a boyfriend? You just continued to stare at the wall with all these thoughts and questions in your head. You were immediately taken out of your trance when you felt a hand softly grab yours. You looked at your hand and then up at the person holding your hand, it was Luke. You gave him a weak smile and he returned it. He looked at you again and said, "Are you ready?" You nod your head, and he kisses your hand and lets go. You all take a step forward and your legs already are aching with every step. You don't feel like you can make it. Your legs ached and ached. You knew that you had to sit down. About 75% of the way, you collapsed. Luke picked you up bridal style and carried you back to the bed. He set you down in a sitting position and asked if you were okay, you didn't want to tell him that you felt like a failure so you just nodded your head. He hugs you and then kisses your cheek and says, "You did good. I am proud of you..." Then he sits back down and lets the doctor finish examining you.

Once Dr. Ross was done examining you he walked over to the door and a nurse handed him the medicine. It was like the nurse was standing there the whole time or something. I mean it was perfect timing. That was so weird. He walks up to you and hands you a cup full of medicine. He lays each of the pills out and tells you what they were. You weren't listening and just decided to nod your head. You had to take about 10 pills. You took them 2 at a time. You wanted to take your time and plus the doctor wanted to make sure that you were actually swallowing them. Once you were done taking your medication Dr. Ross said goodbye and left. You all sat in silence for a little until you decided that you should say thank you. You looked at all of them or at least tried to considering they were on opposite sides. You spoke up a little and said, "Thank you for walking with me. I know that you guys probably think that it was nothing but for me it was everything. Thank you so much! I really appreciate it." All of them at the same time said, "No problem." Everyone started to laugh and you just took in all their laughs. They had nice laughs as weird as that sounds, it was true. You could listen to their laughs and voices all day. They started talking about random shit and you just continued to listen.

After about 30 minutes there was a soft knock on the door and Sydney came in with a tray. She heads over to you, and everyone is silent. The only thing that can be heard is Sydney's short heels clicking against the floor. Once she gets to your bed, and uncovers the tray your heart stops... its food. You weren't hungry. You felt like you were going to throw up. On the tray there was oatmeal, toast, milk, and a bowl of fruit. You looked at the tray and you instantly knew that you couldn't eat all of it; you were going to let everyone down for the second time today. You knew that you had to eat but you just simply weren't hungry. There is no point in eating if you aren't hungry.

Sydney: "Here is some food Ms. Barnfield. You need to eat all of it; I know that it is going to be hard. But, I believe in you. I will be checking on you every 20 minutes. I know that the food that is on the try isn't the best. But it is what we classify as throw up food. It is easy to digest and it's good for you too. Please eat as much as you can. See you in 20 minutes."

You just stare at the food in front of you and listen to the clicking sound of her heels. You continue to stare at the food even when she is gone. You just stare with fear in your eyes. You didn't want to gain weight, and you didn't want to eat. The boys look at you and you can feel their eyes burning into you. You don't know what to do. You feel two people grab your hands, and you knew it was Luke and Ashton. You looked up to them both and gave them a weak smile. Luke rubs his thumb over your hand and Ashton kisses your other hand.

Luke: "You can do this. We will be here. We will encourage you."

You just look at him and nod slowly. You didn't make any movement to grab a slice of toast or pick up silverware. You just look at the food. It's kind of scary, having to eat when you don't want to.

Luke: "How about this, we play the same game that we did at the picnic, but every bite we ask you questions. They will be simple questions but we just want to get to know you better. Then, once you finish like half a bowl of oatmeal, or half of a piece of toast then you can ask us some questions."

You just nod and then Ashton lets go of your hand and you slowly pick up a piece of toast. The first bite wasn't as bad as the second bite. Every single bite it just continued to get worse and worse. You had to stop eating for a little and had to take a break. It was just too much. The boys have asked you a lot of questions like about your parents, your life, school, grades, where you were born, where you have been (traveling wise), etc.

After about an hour and a half, you were completely done eating. God, that was so painful. You feel like a blimp. You could feel a tiny little bump in your stomach and you just kept pinching it and poking it. God, you were so fat. Michael noticed that you were poking and  pinching your stomach so he said, "Delilah, you are beautiful. That's you little food baby, he or she is going to make you better. All the nutrients and shit in there is going to help you get better. Trust me, that little food baby is cute. It will go away in like an hour or so, your food just needs to digest." Once he was done speaking he kissed you on the forehead and sat backdown. After about 30 minutes, everyone had to leave because their parents were getting worried. They handed you a piece of paper, you didn't open until they left. Before they left they all gave you a big hug, and said their goodbyes.Once they left you just stared at the piece of paper. You were scared to open it.