Chapter Thirty-Four

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^ oh Bria 😍 ^

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H o l l o w s   I n
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And there it was. There was the truth. I was covered in bruises, faint and prominent scratches, some barely-there scars. But they were still there. I stared at the girl in the mirror. I didn't recognise her. But how could I? I kept her caged up, believing that if she remained as she had for the past five months, then she would be okay. But how is that ever okay? I did to myself what those cruel people did to me. And I did it willingly. How is that ever okay?

I tuned back into reality to see Bria gazing at my face through the mirrors reflection. Her eyes met mine as mine met hers. Her frown was no longer in confusion, but in concern. She broke the contact and her eyes continued to scan my face. I felt exposed. Like I was standing stripped naked in front of a crowd of two-thousand. Almost humiliated.

"I still think you're beautiful."

I stared at Bria as she stared at me. What?

"How?" I asked, looking at myself to see if photoshop had magically took hold of my reflection and sculpted it into perfection. Nope. Bria smiled softly.

She shrugged, "You just are. It doesn't matter what happened in your past, or who you were in your past. It matters who you are now."

I shivered. It was weird, how Bria could tell me everything I'd tried so hard to realise in the last two weeks, yet she made it sound so simple. I didn't have to be who I was last year. Nor who I was in those five months. I didn't have to be afraid. I also didn't have to be a monster. But no one could ever know about that. Ever.

I continued to stare at myself, seeing nothing but painful memories in my eyes.

"So should we go then?" Bria asked, picking up her bag and opening the door. I jumped and scurried over to where she stood, slamming the door shut. Bria seemed to elevate as she jolted in the air.

"I can't." I said.

"Yes, you can." Bria replied adamantly.

"No, I can't." I countered. Bria sighed, placing her bag back down on the sink countertop.

"It doesn't matter how beautiful you think I am." I saw Bria flinch. "When I walk out there, the whole world gets to see what messed up looks like." I nearly broke the sink as I lost my control. Bria looked at me wide-eyed, as startled as a stray cat in the street, roaming around underneath the full moon.

I breathed in and out for a few moments. "No one can know about this, Bria. And when I walk out of here, they're going to want to know what happened. They're going to ask questions that I don't want to answer." I told her with a hint of reason in my tone. It made me remember what had happened before I had first stepped out of my dorm after arriving back. I had been just as scared then.

"Because as soon as I step out of this room, everyone will become aware of me. I'll have to explain things without actually explaining them. I don't want to talk." It all sounded exactly the same.

"You don't have to talk." Jameson had assured me.

"Rubbish, I'll always have to talk. How else will I fight off the rumours?"

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