Chapter Thirty-Six

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^ Sky in her outfit and the song I used as the main inspiration for this chapter ^

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H o l l o w s   I n
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Groggily, I knew it was Saturday. And someone was shaking my shoulder. I groaned and pulled up the duvet.

"Sky, it's already eleven." Someone told me.

"Then let it be twelve." I replied, burying my head underneath my pillow. But then pillow was taken off, and I heard it drop to the floor.

"I want to take you somewhere. Come on." The voice spoke again and I opened my eyes, frowning as everything was blurred for a few moments. Then I saw Jameson's face. He looked nervous. Reluctant, maybe. As if he was enduring an internal battle—where the side that won wasn't the side he agreed with.

"'Somewhere'?" My voice cracked; I cleared my throat before reaching to grab my bottle of water.

I turned to see Jameson scratching the back of his head, "only if you want."

I wiped the sleep away from my eyes and nodded sleepily. "Sure." Jameson smiled. It was small, the edges of his lips only just turning up, but I still saw it.

I yawned, "what date is it?" I asked. Jameson didn't even look at his calendar before replying. Organised idiot.

"September the twenty-third." He told me.

I rose my arm and waved it around as I let out another roar of a yawn, "You didn't need to tell me the month—I'm not that spaced out." Jameson laughed. Then something hit me. This was normal. This was a genuinely, happy morning. It was lighthearted. Not a police parol of a conversation. I've had enough of those lately, I don't need anymore.

I could only hope that, now that I had acknowledged the calm conversation, that I wouldn't end up retreating backwards out of fear of opening up too much. Opening up was what I had to do. And, on my therapeutic break from all things friends, that only left me with Jameson. So here goes: it's time to see how many secrets I can spill in the space of twelve hours.

And so, I got up and stumbled over to my wardrobe. I stood there for a good ten minutes. Clothes. I looked down at my wrists. They were still small. But I knew that I had put on weight. I sighed, then
I smiled. Clothes. Let's do this.

So I picked out an outfit. The jeans showed some of my ankle, but I decided that I no longer cared. As the warm weather began to die out along with the leaves on the trees, I decided that I wanted to wear a knitted jumper. I couldn't imagine that I'd get hot. It was a sky blue colour, and I couldn't remember the last time I'd worn something blue. Then I found my eyes trailing over to my midnight blue dress. Then the memories danced across my mind, just like we had danced across the ball. The memories glittered, just like my dress had done underneath the light.

In my memories, I was smiling. I was truly happy. It wasn't just a laugh as someone told a joke. It was true happiness. I was light. My dress floated around me just as I floated around on the glass floor.

I didn't understand how I could go from light to dark. Yes, I was indescribably hurt, and that was the biggest factor of it all. I was emotionally damaged and guilty of things that are unfathomable to the natural human mind. Those five months had hit me hard. They had knocked me down. But when you're down, you get up. You don't just lie on the ground and dwell on your mistakes, you jump up and keep walking. So I scrambled to my feet, and I let my heart wander wherever it wanted to go.

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