Hard Knocks

20.

My baby Ryan before Tony and Rae pissed him off lol

Chapter 20:

Raegan

The whole ride home was silent as Ryan didn't say much of anything. I knew he was trying to calm himself down so I refrained from speaking as well.

There was really nothing I could say to make the situation any better. I was out of pocket with him an I knew it.

When we finally pulled up to the house he hopped out the car first and I took my time slowly dragging toward the door after him.

"Not that you put all our business out there in front them people but you embarrass me like some clown ass nigga Rae? My nigga of all people. Bro that's some scandalous ass shit. Y'all been in my fave all this time and ain't say shit." Ryan said coming out the kitchen with a glass of water.

"It's not like that. We would never try to hurt you like that Ryan." I said as I'd calmed down from crying so I was able to speak in full sentences now.

"We? Y'all a we now?" Ryan chuckled giving me a cold stare. "Nah you can hang that up. He ain't shit to me or you."

Loyalty meant everything to him so the fact that he felt disrespected by both me and Tony had him over the edge.

"I understand you're upset but you can't keep me away from him."

"Watch me! I didn't put in all this effort to keep you away from these aint shit niggas to let you talk to one because he my nigga. Tony don't give a fuck about no female. Never has never will. He fuck them and be on his way. You just too fucking dumb to see through niggas bullshit."

"Oh my God Ryan every guy interested in me doesn't have to be trying to fuck me. Have some kind of faith in me. You act like I'm not smart enough to make my own decisions."

"You not." Ryan shrugged.

"Wow. Tell me how you really feel?" I said offended.

"You want some honesty? Okay here you go...You think you know everything and you don't. If I didn't give a damn about you I'd let you fall flat on yo ass out here with the stupid decision you make. But I don't I try to guide yo dumb ass in the right direction. But like you said I'm not yo daddy right? Where the fuck that nigga was when niggas was putting they hands on you? The fuck he was when you had to see a therapist because our uncle was molesting you? Where he was when you tried to kill yo self that one time or the time after that? Hell why you ain't call him when the nigga I told you not to fuck with took you to a hotel to let his niggas train you? Aye let's be real Raegan you so in denial about the part I play in yo life you try to down play the shit I've done for you. You wanna be grown so bad and don't know the first step about being grown. The simple fact is I'm the reason you are even half of the young woman you are today yet you beat me down for caring but pride niggas who wouldn't do the half."

Taking his words in I stayed quiet for a moment as the tension in the room only grew thicker with time.

"I never asked you to do any of that for me. You always throwing what you do in people face. Ryan did this and Ryan did that. I'm so damn tired of hearing all the shit Ryan has done for everybody. Nobody asked you to do what you did so stop throwing it in people face. I'm flawed I know that. I never took what you did for me for granted but damnit I'm tired of hearing about the shit. If everything you do is going to be thrown back in my face then don't do shit for me." I hollered.