Remorse // g.d.

xix.

Hey, I'm back.

Sweet! How was the tour all around New York City?

It was actually really nice, thank you. I went to Times Square and roamed around the city for a bit. Sorry if I woke you up.

No problem, I honestly don't mind that it's one in the morning. I'd stay up all night if it's talking about your experience.

Going to NYC helped me clear my mind for a bit. I just broke up with my boyfriend. Well, he's now my ex boyfriend.

Aww, I'm so, so sorry to hear about that! I hope you're coping well with it. You'll find the right guy?.... I promise you that.

Thank you Grayson. I hope that promise is fufilled haha.

and if you're confused on whether i like guys or not, well i do.

Oooh, okay. Just making sure. One time I told a girl there's plenty of boys out there and she snapped at me. Like I didn't know. 

Lol, no worries kid.

Well, I'm here for you whenever you need someone to speak to.

Thank you Grayson, it means a lot.

No problem Cara. I'm always here for you.

So, are you going to be in NYC for another day? Or was this just a bound?

Nah, I'm staying tomorrow night and then I'm leaving. 

My ex is in the same house as I am since he came over to the east coast with me.

Oh, that must be rough.

Tell me about it.

Grayson and I have a late night conversation. I look to my right and I see that it's 2:34 am. A smile comes on my face as I realize I'm actually here late talking to a guy I have feelings for. I mean don't get me wrong, Kaspar and I had these. We stopped before finals and then did it once or twice before the trip. But I didn't know how it felt to do this once again.

But the thing is, Grayson actually understands me. It's as if he became mature throughout the time period where I left to London with Cameron and Chris. Before that, he was always this annoying guy who wouldn't stop to see anger on my face. But then again, boys are brainless at times, especially in high school. 

He must've changed. But what gets me off track is when we spoke while Kaspar was taking photos. He talked about this girl who he was missing. How he was going to wait for her until she came back. It's definitely me. But why would he wait for me? After I rejected him so many times and him ending up in jail because of me, he still wants me? That boy has honestly waited despite my treatment towards him.

But then again, he deserved it.

I mean what kind of idiot catfishes a girl he likes? Then ridicules her at lunch by stepping on a table to declare his love for her. Only Grayson would. I mean I ridiculed him the most since I caused a scene by rapidly leaving the cafeteria.

Hello? 

Cara?

Did you fall asleep?

Snapping out of my critical thinking, I reply back to Grayson.

Nah, I'm just thinking about things.

I don't wanna sleep until 5 in the morning.

Same. Great minds think alike.

Honestly. I'm in a mood for lasagna right now.

As I wait for Grayson's reply, I start thinking about how much Grayson has pursued me, even if I left. He must've gone through so much pain for me. He should've moved on to a different girl but he still has eyes for me. I mean who knows if he knows about Kaspar. If we actually end up together, that boy's gonna get good treatment from me. I'll legitimately spoil that boy and let him know how much I appreciate him. 

If anything, he's probably the only person who can tolerate me. Kaspar sometimes was afraid of me. Grayson's the type of person to calm me down, even if he knows the risk of me throwing something at him. He's the person who'd never stop telling me he loves me, and will also annoy me at all costs. He's annoyed me since we were young so I mean that's nothing new there.

I'd take you out for lasagna right now, but there's none here.

Like all restaurants are closed.

Plus I don't know where you're at.

and it'd be weird going out to meet with someone you just met.

foot size doesn't matter!!11!1!

foot size what?

frozen reference?

Frozen?

YOU'VE NEVER WATCHED FROZEN BEFORE?!

uhm....no.

Grayson you're missing out on a wonderful experience!

Go watch Frozen right now. 

Like, now.

Then I'll think about the lasagna meet up.

Alright, alright

I'll go watch Frozen, just for you.

Hay, que romantico <3

wait what? sorry repeat that for me.

I've said too much. enjoy watching Frozen!

I send a text to my brother telling him I'm doing well in the city. Maybe I should move to New York City when I graduate from University, or I can always transfer to here. But my credits might get lost, so no thanks. This place is so beautiful.

I start to think how my life would be if Grayson and I were to end up married. An apartment in New York City, a daughter. She'll have his hair color and his eyes. She'll have my attitude and hair type. She'll have a goldfish since someone happens to be allergic to animal fur. Thank you, Grayson, for that. I'll marry you because I love you, but I don't like how you're allergic to animal fur. That ruined my chance of having a small dog around the house.

I smile at thinking of Grayson and me on date nights and family game night. Of course, I'll end up defeating him and our daughter. I mean I'm pretty good when it comes to playing games. Cameron refuses to play Monopoly with him since I always win. I loved seeing the face of defeat on him as I won every single game we've played.

At the end of every night, I'll tell Grayson that I love him before going to sleep. He's the person who wanted me first. Now that I think about it, only he and Kaspar were the only ones who liked me. Probably because Grayson told every single guy in our grade to back off. Let's face it, he'd be the type of person to do that. 

I plug my phone in the wall charger to charge up as I type in the Netflix website to watch Heathers. 3:24 am. This will help me stay up until 5 in the morning.

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hello, hello. this was way long overdue. I need to step up my update game but writer's block is so brutal like what am i supposed to add in between here and the end?! thank you all so much for commenting and voting on this story, i really appreciate it.

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