Remorse // g.d.

xxvi.

Inspired track: Let It Go - James Bay

I hear the birds chirping and notice that I was not in my house. I hear snores next to me. I run my hand down my face and I look next to me. There, I see Grayson in a peaceful state as he's sleeping. I start to admire his features.  Everything about him is imperfectly perfect. I look at him in awe, and can't believe I never admired him back then.

If someone were to tell me that I'd fall for Grayson in the future, I'd honestly make fun of them for being so idiotic and not using their brains correctly. I mean Grayson and I back then? I would always push him away and think I'm better without him. Now, seeing him in this state, it made me realize how much I've missed out. By now we could've gone to prom together, we could've watched all the sunrise and sunsets from the rooftop. We could've had everything.

I sigh at the fact that I didn't see the guy who truly admired me. Even if I was rude and thought I was too cool for him, he wouldn't run away from me. He'd stay and try to crack a smile on my face. In the end, I'd yell at him and tell him to go away. He was annoying at times, not going to lie. But seeing him would make my day, and my days would be quiet when he was out. I'd play it off saying that it's a wonderful day that I'm away from Grayson's annoying self. I will never admit this, but I missed Grayson whenever he was out.

I snap out of my thoughts when I hear, "no fair." I look to see Grayson pouting at me. I laugh in awe seeing his pout. "I'm supposed to see you sleeping as I admire your features."

"Better luck next time, eh?"

He leans in and I stop him from doing so. "Morning breath," I mutter.

Grayson takes my hand and holds it. He goes and kisses my cheek. "Do you think I care?" 

I look down in silence. Using his pointer and middle finger, he puts them under my chin and raises my head to look directly into his eyes. 

"I don't. Ella, after waiting years to have this moment with you, I don't want to be without you anymore. You complete me. It took us so long for us to be here." He kisses my forehead after saying that and holds me against him. 

I hum in response.

"You're not much of a talker in the mornings. I love listening to your voice."

"Relax yourself, Romeo. I just like to sit in silence sometimes. I've learned to do that ever since I left here."

"What, really? What happened to the Ella I know who would always talk to her friends?"

"I don't know. Honestly, since I left here, I haven't been the same."

"In what ways?"

"Been more reserved, I guess? I mean it kind of contradicts my identity in London. People hung out with me because I was 'the girl on Twitter who was burned in her game.'"

"Burned in her game?"

"When you decided to catfish me and people found out, it gave me a bad image. Probably because it was ironic how the girl who caught the catfish ended up getting catfished."

"I'm sorry I did that to you. Honestly, it was an immature mistake I did a few years ago. I just wanted to know you more. I guess as Bianca, I was able to get to know you as a friend. But it wasn't the same. It wasn't the same as me getting to know you. It wasn't a true Graysella moment."

"Did you just say Graysella?"

"Yeah, it's our ship name. I created it back in middle school."

"Oh no Grayson, why would you?"