After his mother's death, Louis begins to fall apart. Between his grief, the pressure to stay strong for his siblings and the stress of debuting his solo career, it all just becomes too much for him to handle.
Disclaimer: Some of this story wil...
I'm overwhelmed and starting to get sleepy, so I just nuzzle my head into the crook of his neck as he lifts me once again and takes me out to the living room. As he walks, I realize how much he's been carrying me, and that I haven't really noticed until now. Oh well, it's kinda nice, like a really long hug, just while walking and I don't have to put any effort in to moving.
Harry's POV
As I'm carrying Louis back out to the living room to finish the movie, I realize how quiet he's being. I'm not sure if it's because he's overwhelmed from what just happened, or if he's simply tired.
"Hey, Lou, are you getting sleepy?"
"No, I'm *yawn* fine." I have to chuckle a little at his self-betraying yawn.
"You sure?" He just tucks his head closer to my neck, and I decide to just let him be, so I make my way to the couch and sit down, Louis on my lap.
"Hey! I want Louis cuddles!"
"What do you think, Lou? Are you ready for cuddles with Dada?" He just shrugs, but doesn't refuse, so I slide him onto Niall's lap.
When Toy Story 3 is over, I look across to see Louis nearly asleep on Niall's lap. Liam gestures at me, then heads off to the kitchen. We agreed that we're going to try to start phasing in bottles before bed. For now we'll just do cold milk in a sports bottle, but later we're hoping we can give him warm milk in a baby bottle. It will help him sleep, as well as just being something babies do.
Liam comes back out with an Adidas water bottle, I'm assuming full of milk, and offers it to Louis. "Here bud, I've got you some milk. Do you want Dada or Daddy to give it to you, or do you want to do it yourself?"
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(A/N this is the bottle I am picturing, because I don't think I described it well)
He looks up sleepily, eyes half shut, and reaches out for the bottle. I'm glad he's not refusing, but I would love it if he let someone feed it to him. It would just be so cute! I was a little reluctant about this whole ageplay thing, but I feel like it will be really adorable to see Louis acting like a baby. Oh well, all in good time I suppose.
After he finishes the bottle, still on Niall's lap, we decide it's time for him to go to bed. We're all tired, but he's exhausted, probably because it's been an overwhelming day, and he was up late last night. I keep forgetting that it's only January 1st; today has felt so long. Louis picks me as the one for him to cuddle with. I'm pretty excited and flattered, but I figure it's probably because I have been the most gentle with him today and he is starting to trust me at least a little with the ageplay stuff. The others he is still a bit wary of, and I think it's because he's afraid they are going to take things too quickly.
We head off to his room, him walking this time, because I have to run and grab some pajamas from the guest room I put my stuff in earlier. I brush my teeth as he brushes his; later we will do it for him, but I think for tonight he has had enough new stuff forced on him. We crawl into his bed and I switch off the bedside light before getting into position to spoon him.
"Lou, I want you to know I'm proud of you bud. We're putting a lot of new stuff on you, and even though it's meant to help you, I know it might be overwhelming at first. But you are doing really well, and I hope tomorrow will be better for you"
"Haz," he mumbles sleepily. "I..."
If he wasn't so exhausted I would have corrected him on my name, but I can't bother him with that now. Besides, I think he's already asleep, so he wouldn't hear anyways. His even breaths lull me quickly to sleep.
I wake up suddenly in the middle of the night to Louis thrashing and crying. Great, a nightmare. Liam's told us these can be bad, but I haven't seen one yet.
"Louis. Lou! Wake up, bud." I'm gently shaking his shoulder while calling his name somewhat softly but he's not waking up. "Lou. Wake up. Louis!"
Suddenly he shoots upright in bed, eyes wide in terror. His breathing is rapid and shallow, and tears are streaming down his face.
"Lou-bear, it's okay. Shh, it was just a nightmare. You're alright." I'm trying to pull him in for a hug, but he won't let me, and just keeps crying and hyperventilating. "Louis, I need you to breathe. Deep breaths for me please, bud. You're going to be alright. Hey, I'm right here, Lou."
He shakes his head rapidly. "Li..."
Nothing I'm doing is working, I guess all I can do is call Liam. He's dealt with this before, and obviously he's the one Louis wants right now. I bang on the wall above the bed which leads to the room is staying in. "Liam! Liam, come here!" He's a light sleeper, so I hope he will hear me. "Liam, Payno please!" Meanwhile, I keep stroking Louis' shoulder, the only touch he will allow, in a futile attempt to get him to calm down.
Finally, Liam walks in, and Louis immediately reaches his arms out for him, sobbing his name. I can't help but feel jealous, because I thought I was building a good trust with Louis, but maybe he just feels better with Liam here because he's brought him down from panic and nightmares before. I decide I'm better off leaving, not wanting to hinder Liam from calming Louis, and figuring he will probably sleep here the rest of the night.
"I'll let you two have the bed for the rest of the night, alright Li?" He just nods, his attention focussed on Louis.
Liam's POV
I was pretty surprised and worried when I heard banging on my wall and Harry yelling for me, but it all makes sense now: Louis had another nightmare, and he won't calm down. When I sit on the bed and gather the crying boy into my arms, Harry lets me know that he's giving me Louis duty for the rest of the night and leaves, which I appreciate, because I'm pretty sure Louis is embarrassed and upset with himself for having another nightmare.
"Hey bud, it's just me. Hush, you're alright. It was just a nightmare, everything's alright." I have my arms around him, rocking gently as I try to get him to stop crying and calm down. His breathing has evened out which is good, but I want him calmer before I try talking to him. He seems really upset, and I'm not entirely sure why; it seems like something is bothering him other than just the nightmare. "Just breathe, Lou, you're alright. I'm here. Let's just calm down, okay?" Eventually, his sobs slow, and he turns his head into my shoulder. "What's wrong, bud? Is something wrong?"
"Li..." He almost whines my name.
"Louis, I know you're upset, but you need to try to call me Daddy." He sighs at that before taking a couple deep breaths and trying again.
"Um...I...I..." He trails off.
"What is it? You're alright, you can tell me."
"I-I...I-I" He doesn't seem to be able to say whatever it is he's trying to tell me, so I pull him onto my lap, hoping it will help him feel a little more relaxed. I'm surprised when he struggles to get out of my hold, but then I feel something that makes me understand why. I should have realized sooner: he wet himself. He's done it before, so I don't know why he's so much more upset about it that he can't even say it. Maybe because of the nappy, or because Harry was in his bed when it happened.
"Oh, Lou, it's alright. You're alright. Shall we get you changed, or do you need a minute to calm down?"
"I-I don't...I don't w-want..."
"Hey, hey, calm down. I'll do it quickly, and then you'll be all comfy and we can go back to sleep, alright?" When he finally lets me pick him up off the bed, I get him changed quickly, which only makes him cry more. All clean and dry, I carry him back to bed where he snuggles right into me, falling asleep quite quickly despite the tears still trickling occasionally down his cheeks.
So I told myself I had to wait until the 5th to update...it's 1am on the 5th, so not what I intended, but I'm posting anyways
I don't what I want to have happen when in the morning. Any suggestions? It's going to be a bit before he falls into headspace, and I have plans for when that happens, but I need something for when Louis wakes up in the morning...
