After his mother's death, Louis begins to fall apart. Between his grief, the pressure to stay strong for his siblings and the stress of debuting his solo career, it all just becomes too much for him to handle.
Disclaimer: Some of this story wil...
The rest of the day is somewhat unpleasant, but mostly uneventful from my point of view. I mostly try to avoid drinking anything, but the boys catch on and force me, so I end up wetting my nappy once in the late morning, which is just completely humiliating, and, worse, results in a fair number of tears. We spend a good amount of time cuddling on the couches and watching football. Someone makes lunch at some point, which we eat in the living room without too much forcing of things on me. The most...interesting...part of the day comes when the boys decide they need to purchase some more baby things for me.
"Hey Louis, do you want to come pick some stuff for yourself?" I really don't have any interest, but I get up and move to the other couch where Liam and Niall are sitting with a laptop. Maybe I can talk them out of some things...
"What kind of sippy cup would you prefer? They've got some with cartoon characters, or Marvel, or cool patterns..." Niall scrolls through a website, showing me some of the options, but I really don't care. I don't want a sippy cup at all. It sounds absolutely humiliating.
"Don't care"
"Louis. Respect." I didn't realize not having an opinion was disrespectful...
"Sorry, Li"
"It's alright. Just be nice, yeah? And call me Daddy, you know that. Now, how about this one?" He points to a cup covered in Winnie the Pooh characters.
"Not my favourite. Um...not to be disrespectful, but, uh, why would I want that? I don't think I've ever demonstrated a particular liking for Winnie the Pooh..."
Niall chuckles. "He's got a point, Li. What about Marvel? What's your favourite superhero?"
"I don't really have a preference, Ni-uh, Da-" I try to correct myself and call him Dada, but it just feels so wrong that my voice breaks off.
"What about that one?" I jump at the sound of Harry's voice right behind me. I didn't hear him come around the back of the couch. He's pointing at a sippy cup which, in all honesty, I find hilarious. "That's perfect for you, don't you think, lads?" One side is a light red, and the other is black and white striped. I think it's meant to be some sort of new modern trend, but all I can think of when I look at it is my favourite outfit from years ago. "Throwback to 'What Makes You Beautiful,' anyone?" Everyone laughs, and Niall puts the cup in our cart.
"Right, well, let's move on. I think we should get you a stuffie, Lou. Wouldn't you like to have something to cuddle?" I don't really see the need, they promised I could always cuddle them, and besides, I can live without having cuddles all the time. I'm 25, I don't need a toy for when my friends aren't available to cuddle.
"Great idea, Liam! What kind do you think you want, bud?" Niall wraps his arm around my shoulders and squeezes me as he manoeuvers his way to a page of stuffed toys. "There are so many...what do we think? Do we want a bear, or a dog, or like, something different?"
"I think something traditional, like a bear, would be nice." Well, at least Harry has an opinion. My only opinion is that I don't want one.
Niall somehow narrows the results on the page to show only bears. I watch with disinterest. I really don't need a stuffie...er, stuffed animal. I'm not a child. But suddenly, one catches my eye, and I involuntarily gasp softly.
"See something you like, Lou?" I look up at Harry, and quickly shake my head. I don't really want that bear. Not at all. I don't want a stuffie. It just reminds me of one I had when I was a kid, that's it. That's the only reason it caught my attention.
"Are you sure, bud? It sounded like you saw something you liked..." Why is Liam pushing this? I said no. I don't want a teddy bear. I have no reason to want that particular one. I don't want that one.
"Well, do you like this one?" Niall asks, pointing at an ugly blue bear with a bright yellow bowtie.
"No!" Wait, why am I so insistent on not liking that one?
It continues similarly, one of them pointing at a bear and me refusing it, for a few minutes, until they come to the one that caught my eye earlier. It's a very tradition brown teddy bear with a red bow tie around its neck. It looks like it's really soft and huggable. I...I actually want it. But I can't tell them that. They would laugh at me; I'm 25, I'm not supposed to want a teddy bear. But it's so soft...
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"Louis? Do you want this one, bud? Lou?" Harry's calling my name, I guess I spaced out a little. I just look at him. I don't know what to say. I want it, but I can't say it. I'm way too embarrassed to admit that I actually want a stuffed bear.
Niall pulls his arm tighter around my shoulder. "It's okay if you want it, boo. It's a nice bear. You just have to tell us, and we'll get it."
"Um..." I don't want to say it. "I-I...it looks like one I used to have." There, I didn't admit to anything, not really. Still, I'm feeling self-conscious, and I pull my legs up to curl into a ball.
"Do you want it then, or do you want something different?" I don't want to answer Harry. I don't want to admit it. Instead of answering, I just shrug.
Surprisingly, Liam speaks up, and not to make me answer, either. "If it reminds you of one you used to have, Lou, let's get it. It might help you slip into headspace if you have something that reminds you of being a little kid."
I want to sigh in relief that I'm getting the bear, but I can't, because then they would know that I wanted it.
"Alright, that's settled. Harry, Li, anything else we need?" Niall is looking over the items in the cart.
"Sippy cup, stuffie, I think that's all we need for now. Maybe we'll get some more stuff later." I don't like the look Liam is giving Niall. It makes me think that the 'we' he is talking about doesn't include me. What are they going to buy without asking me? "Let's have some dinner, yeah? Usually we'll be healthier, Lou, but today, for a treat, let's order Nando's."
Sorry, this is a bit later than I normally post, but I had a rough week. Next one should be up sooner, hopefully.
Thanks to loulouoz for the prompt for this chapter, I really enjoyed writing it.
And thanks to all my loyal readers(and new readers too!) for reading and voting and commenting. I feel really loved when I see people actually enjoy what I'm writing.
