Of Pain | COMPLETED

Chapter 23

‘You look worse for wear,’ Emily commented as soon as I sank onto the chair. ‘I heard from your mother that you fell on the skating rink and had surgery. I hope your arm is fine. How are you holding up dear?’

I just stared at the window on my right blankly. ‘I don’t sleep anymore,’ I replied her flatly. I tried not to fidget as I felt her eyes bearing heavily on me. I slid my tired eyes over at her petite form, noting the clothes that she was wearing and the way the room was decorated. It was all so pristine and orderly.

‘And why didn’t you Ally?’

‘You know whatever you’re doing right now it’s not really stopping whatever I am facing in my mind right?’ I asked her with a raised eyebrow. ‘I mean the pills are helping to curb my depression but it’s not as if stopping the nightmares from happening.’

‘Nightmares?’

Oh shit. ‘I have nightmares Emily, that’s a reason why I don’t sleep at night,’ I told her with a blank face. ‘The dark scares me because whenever I close my eyes, all I see is him bearing that knife in front of me before he cuts my arm open. What do you think when I told you I didn’t have enough sleep? I have projects? Really now Emily.’

She looked shocked at me. Her writing on the notepad stopped abruptly when I told her the trivial information that I didn’t bother telling after months being her patient. I sighed at her still shocked expression and made myself comfortable on the chair as I waited patiently for her numerous questioning.

I can’t believe I had let that slip.

Damn it.

‘What are your nightmares consist of?’

‘Replays of the abuse I had to hold up for years,’ I answered her sarcastically. ‘Look whatever treatment that you have in mind, I am sure that you can’t help me. Everything is already ingrained in my brain. Unless I get amnesia, I can’t forget them.’

‘Why didn’t you tell me about this?’

I scoffed at her and stared at her incredulously. ‘Because I know you’d be asking me these questions and we’d be going nowhere Emily. Seriously, nothing can make me forget these nightmares. I lived it through and I am reliving it through.’

‘What makes you say that? What makes you so confident that I can’t help you with that?’

I stared at her with a frown now. ‘Because you just can’t Emily,’ I replied her softly.

She gave me a smile. ‘It’s for you to believe in that,’ she answered calmly. I stared at her incredulously as I watched her scribble something onto the notepad in front of her. I grew bored after a moment and turned to stare out at the window beside her. I don’t believe her; nothing can cure me of that.

I was so sure of it.

Just then, a ringtone cut through the room and made me jump high. The White Stripes’ Seven Nation Army blared from my jean’s pocket and made me fish the phone out swearing softly at it for making me jump like that in front of Emily. Frowning at the unknown number, I accepted it despite it.

‘Hello?’

‘H-honey please-‘

‘Mum? What the-‘

‘This is payback for what you did to me bitch, I’m taking away your Mother. Don’t even think about finding her,’ the rough voice of Dad could be heard over the phone.

‘You bastard! What are you doing to her? I swear to God, don’t you dare touch a hair on her or I’ll come down and kill you!’ I shouted over at the phone, jumping out of my chair at the same time. ‘Where have you taken her you jackass? Give my Mum back to me you idiot!’