The Perfect Sin (Camren)

Ch 17- Worth The Wait

I'm standing behind the bar watching a herd of middle-aged men groan in disappointment as Natalie made the final announcement.

"Last call guys!"

They all put in their final orders and Sally, the other bartender, along with Natalie and I got everyone's final orders out of the way.

It's taken me about two months of working here to finally feel like I've gotten the hang of it.

Natalie is really the expert though and it really has nothing to do with making drinks.  Tips depend on the interaction with the customer. She has the perfect balance of sass, flirt, and attitude that leaves her pockets full of cash by the end of the night.

And today is only Thursday, on Friday's the girl has to make multiple trips to the back to unload her pockets and come back. The guys like it and so do most of the girls, to be honest.

It certainly worked for me, once upon a time, that is.

Currently, Camila is the only girl on my mind though I'd be lying if I said I hadn't noticed that Natalie had been getting especially friendly with me the past week or so. 

At the moment, Camila doesn't know about Natalie and Natalie doesn't know about Camila. This wasn't really done on purpose, it was the simple fact that when I see Natalie I'm working and my personal life doesn't really come up and when I'm with Camila, Natalie is the furthest thing from my mind. 

Though, if I'm being completely honest I kind of didn't mind her sudden fondness for me. Not because I'm actually interested but because the idea of not having to hide is kind of nice. 

Camila is great and sneaking around was fun at first but now it's just stressful.

I thought I could handle it but I don't even know if she's my girlfriend or simply a girl I make out with every once in a while.

At church, she is cordial, and friendly, just like she is with everyone else.

So, that's how I feel most of the time; like I'm just like everyone else for her. When for me? She is the only one. 

I'm trying my best to be understanding because I can remember being in her shoes not so long ago and being in a religious surrounding, deathly afraid of coming out. Actually, when I was in her shoes I was still trying to figure out ways to fix myself, and that scares me. What if she is just riding along with this until she decides she doesn't need me anymore? 

At one point, I know I continued a back and forth with Natalie for religion, what if I lose her? 

But I'm still here, dealing with the in-between stage that we are currently in.

All I know is that for me stopping time just isn't enough anymore. 

"You okay?" Natalie asks

I look up to see my co-worker with two glasses in one hand and an almost empty bottle of vodka in the other. 

"Yeah, why?" I say as nonchalantly as possible. 

She smiles, not the kind of smile that reaches her eyes but the kind that lets me know she doesn't believe me. 

"I know it's been a while since we've been close but I can tell when something is up" she mentioned. 

Natalie poured the remains of the vodka bottle into the glasses she had set down on the counter. 

"So instead of bullshitting me," she said, "How about you drink with me and tell me what's going on?" 

I smile at her bluntness and cross my arms feigning defense