Fate Or Love

Doubt

Rach's Pov

How did I get so lucky? Finn is the boyfriend anyone could ask for. He is sweet, charming, the defenition  of perfection...but...I'm not...
I've got deep wound reminding me about everything I have lost. I look in the mirror and see nothing except a girl who lost her little brother, a girl who was raped by the man she once loved and abused by the people who were supposed to have been caring for her...people who have would make u chocolate chip cookies when ur sad... but instead if she cried she  would be beaten up, tortured, sexually harrased....
I felt tears trickle down my cheek at the memory.

Knock
Knock

I was distracted from my train of thought when I heard those sounds.
I got up from my bed and made my way across my room towards the door...
I wiped my tears away and suppressed back a sob..

I opened the door to see my boyfriend with a big smile on his face, his beautiful smile was quickly replaced by a frown and a worried look that made me feel guilty.
See u only bring bad luck and misery. A voice in my head said, I tried my best to not pay attention but, I couldnt lie to myself because I knew it was true.

"Baby what's wrong?" He asked me gently.
"Nothing..."I mumbled.
"Babe I know something is wrong...U can see ur tears." Finn said, wiping away the tear the I didn't even know was there.
"I dont want to tell you. You wouldn't understand." I said louder.
"Cupcake please tell me..it pains me to see you upset..especially when I dont know why and don't know if there is a way that I could help you." He said staring straight deeply into my eyes.
"I.DO.NOT.WANT.TO.TELL.YOU!" I yelled at him, taking him by suprise, I immediately felt bad.
"I'm sorry..." I apologised looking down.
"It's okay,honey...you're going through a tough time," he said pulling me close to his chest.
"No..I screw up everything...you'd be better without me, the world would be better without me! I'm an unfrateful,self centered bitch, I don't deserve this, I deserve to be punish-" I was cut of before I could finish my sentence.
"SHIT! RACHEL STOP OKAY?  YOU ARE NOT A SCREW UP NOR A SELF CENTERED, UNGRATEFUL BITCH OKAY?! I'M NOT BETTER WITHOUT YOU BECAUSE THE WHOLE REASON WHY I'M ME,  IS BECAUSE YOU'RE IN MY LIFE! STOP SAYING YOU DESERVE TO BE PUNISHED! YOUR PARENTS SHOULD BURN IN HELL! THEY DONT DESERVE TO HAVE MET YOU, THEY DONT DESERVE A DAUGHTER LIKE YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE NOTHING LIKE THEM!" He yelled angrily.
"HOW DO U KNOW! HOW ARE YOU SO SURE! I WAS SUPPOSED TO PROTECT MY BROTHER! I WAS HIS 'BIGGER' SISTER! BUT I COULDN'T EVEN PROTECT MYSELF FOR HIM...I couldn't...!" I yell at him crying..
I watch as his expression changes from angry to sad..
"Baby...your brothers death wasn't you fault...it was those sick bastards..." I pulls me in and I cry into his chest harder than I had ever before...(and let me tell you I have cried a lot throughout my life... ) remebering my little brother..how cute he was,  how we used to play before everything got bad...

After what seemed forever, I finally composed myself and wiped away my tears...I looked at Finn, took a big breath and said the words I thought I would never say again...

"Can we  go to the cementary?" I asked him
"Ofcourse baby.." he said, kissing my forehead gently...

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Omg!! I'm the worst writer!! Im sorry but, Im getting ready to leave to my new country since Im leaving Australia in like 2 weeks and needed to pack.

Tell me if you like..

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Val🌟