Time Heals All

Chapter 21: Bout That

Ant's POV

"Think about it. What drives majority of the anger? What is it that sets you off?" My therapist wrote on his small notepad.

"Everything." I shrugged my shoulders, being way too immature.

"Specific. Is it the crowd of people you're around?" He sipped from his coffee cup.

"Sometimes. Most of the time it's little stuff that pisses me off. But today, today it's something big." I clenched my jaw and leaned back in my seat.

"Do you want to share with me what happened today that has you so upset?"

"Nope." I threw my stress ball up in the air.

"Okay, Antonio. We're at the finish line of your five months and you want to start this? Have you at least been journaling like I told you?"

My anger management classes have been really helpful for me. When the judge told me I had to do this, I was mad at first but it turned out to be beneficial. Today I'm not having it though. I'm beyond pissed and I didn't want to show up, but my manager told me I had to. I honestly just want to kill somebody right now.

The reason I'm mad is because Tyshawn got jumped on campus yesterday. He was walking to his car at night leaving school and some dudes jumped him. He ain't fucked up or nothing, but still. That's my lil brother, I always looked after him and made sure he was straight. Just to know some dumb ass niggas did that and I can't do anything about it pisses me off to the max.

"No I have not been journaling and I'm mad because my little brother got jumped." I sighed.

"Is he still alive?"

"Yuh. He good."

"Then why are you upset? Be glad that he didn't get seriously injured or that he didn't lose his life."

"Can you not hear? He got jumped. Why wouldn't I be mad? That's my brother and I'm supposed to look after him."

"You think you're supposed to stop things like this from happening? We've talked about your brother before, right? He's twenty, which means he's old enough to care for himself."

"But I helped raise him and I feel like it's my duty to protect him. Before they jumped him they asked if I was his brother. How you think that make me feel? Like it had something to do with me."

"From all the sessions we've had thus far, I'm noticing that your anger is coming from things you can't change. You get angry at situations you have no control over." He explained.

"Yuh, I do like to be in control of what's going on around me." I nodded.

"So next time you get mad at something you can't control, think about something that makes you happy. Is there anything in this world that would take you to that happy place? That'll make you forget about what's going on around you."

"Mmmh... my fiancée and my baby." I grinned.

"See, now I bet none of that other stuff even matters."

"It matters, but that made me feel a little better."

My therapist continued to talk to me about my personal problems. He wasn't going to let me leave until I told him almost everything. It felt good to let it out, but I honestly hate talking about my issues. The good thing about him is, he never attacks me or makes me feel bad about my mistakes.

"Next time, I need you to not come here mad. We had a good session today besides earlier." We wrapped things up.

"I'll try, but I can't make any promises." I shook his hand.