Crazy Feelings

Chapter Nine

"Bella wake up. Bella please, we need to talk." I hear and I slowly open my eyes. I see Shawn kneeled down next to me. 

"Get away from me." I say and get up off of the ground. I look around for a second and then I grab my bag off of the floor.

"No please Bella I'm sorry." He says but I ignore him. I walk past him to my bed where I have my other bags. I grab my purse and start throwing things in it so I can get out of here as quick as possible.

"Sorry doesn't fix what happened." I say bluntly trying not to cry. I grab one of my bags off the bed and put it on the floor.

"Bella please stop. Don't leave." Shawn says and puts my bag back on the bed. I take another bag and put it on the floor. He reaches for it to put it back on the bed but I grab it before he can.

"Shawn. I'm leaving." I say and look him in the eyes. My eyes fill with tears and he sees that. I'm getting all chocked up so I grab my other bags and walk out of the room.

"Can we please talk about this first. I want to at least try to make things right. Just give me a chance." He says and I turn around a look at him. "Bella please." He says softly and his eyes look watery.

"Fine you've got five minutes." I say and go to sit in the living room. Shawn follows behind me and stands in front of me.

"Bella I was really drunk last night. I shouldn't have gotten drunk to begin with  and that's my fault. I'm so sorry for trying to take it to far with you. I shouldn't have tried to do anything with you. I'm most sorry for what happened with Lauren and the things I said to you. I regret last night so much. You were suppose to be my date and I screwed this up big time. I'm so sorry Bella. Just please don't leave." Shawn says and a few tears roll down his face. 

I don't know whether to forgive him or not. I don't know what to do anymore about anything. I have to go on this big tour with him soon. I think I just really need some time and space to think.

"Shawn. I don't know what you want me to do here. What you did really hurt. What you said hurt even more. I still have feelings for and I know you still have feelings for me. I understand that you made a mistake, but that was pretty damn big mistake." I say and then take a deep breath to try and think about what to say next.

"I know. I also know that just saying sorry won't fix things, but I can't fix things with you unless you are here. With me." He says and I look him in the eyes.

"I need you to answer a question for me then. And I want the complete truth." I say and he can tell that I'm very serious.

"Yes anything. I promise I'll be honest with you." He says and he means it.

"Did you sleep with Lauren last night after I left?" I ask and he doesn't answer. He doesn't look at me. 

"I guess that's my answer then." I say and get up off of the couch and go to grab my bags and leave.

"Bella I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I don't have feeling for her." Shawn said but I ignored him and walked out to the garage and started putting my bags in my car.

"Bella where are you going to stay?" Shawn asks me as I put my bags in the back of my car.

"A hotel so you don't have to worry about me." I say and then close the back door to my car.

"What about the tour?" He asks as I walk around to the drivers seat.

"I'm still going. I already signed the contract." I say and get into the car. Just as I was about to shut the door he grabbed it.