Who Am I to Love You? (HiJack)

4

hiccup.

Homeroom came in a flash, and I felt Astrid's piercing gaze from where I sat. I didn't want to look because an eye contact is far worse than her staring at me. Although it's kind of making me sweat a lot, I'd much prefer it than her knowing that I remember about later. Even though I said that, I don't want to burden myself by running away from it.

"Hiccup, come with me, if you please." She said.

"Y-yeah." I replied.

I accompanied her outside the classroom, already carrying my bag because if this takes long, I could go home right after. She faced me and was blushing so much, I couldn't even look her in the eye without laughing. She clenched her fists and she breathed heavily and finally, straightened her back. 

"Will you-- date me and let's be together?!" She exclaimed.

I couldn't reply to it fast. I don't want to hurt her feelings too much, I don't want that to happen. It's seriously making me crazy. "Wait! Let me think about this." I said and I didn't really want to make eye contact now because if I do, I might see her pained expression. It makes me feel so guilty if I see that pained look. "You don't need to say yes. Honestly, I just want this burden to get off my chest." She said and I knew she was far different from me.

She has the gall to confess her feelings while I couldn't.

The feeling that was coursing through me was the feeling of guilt. This girl, even though I'm an antisocial, awkward guy, she put up with it and liked me. She crossed some boundaries and felt that she liked me. While I've been crushing on the same guy for a decade and I still couldn't open up about it. Maybe I'm scared of rejection. After all, a guy rejecting another guy is on another level. 

"Thanks." I told her.

"No problem. I know you're in love with your bestfriend, don't sweat it." 

I shivered momentarily because how did Astrid know I was chasing after Jack? Is she some kind of expert?! "How did you-" I asked her and she cut me off. "Seeing someone in love with another is not far to notice. The way you look at him and Thiana is like the way I look at you with him. Truth is, I get jealous of Jack. He's always with you. But I don't get why you're so jealous of Thiana when Jack's been dedicating most of his time to you?" She asked and somehow it pierced my mind.

"I'm a selfish person..." I mumbled.

"Don't be so embarrassed or disgusted with yourself. We're in the 21st century! Love between two men is also legalized here, so you have nothing to worry about. Also, I am not a homophobe, just so you know. I'm actually rooting for you." She said that and I didn't know how to react. She's so kind and sweet. I felt a lot guilty.

If only I was normal, would things have been a lot different?

Without knowing, tears streamed down my eyes. "I liked him for a decade and I still couldn't grasp the thought of him knowing how much I've been looking at him with these creepy eyes. You shouldn't root for me at all. I want to forget about my feelings about him. I don't want these anymore." I told her, crying like a pathetic child who lost his lollipop on the road. 

"If you want to forget about him so fast, why don't we just date?" 

I looked at Astrid like she was crazy. There was no way I'm going to date her. She's going to break me in half sooner or later! After all, she got rejected by me. "I don't think that's a great idea..." I said. "Listen! If you date me, one way or another, you'll forget about him and just start treating him as a normal friend from now on. You don't have to like me, I'll put you up with some other guy! And besides, I could date you. It's a win-win situation for us both. So, what do you say?" She suggested and I think it would actually work, seeing as we're both in need, it would benefit us.

"Okay." I replied.

"That's good! Take care of me from now on, boyfriend!" She was so happy. I was too. I want to forget about Jack quickly that I ended up agreeing to a stupid deal. But somehow, it was good so I think it would work the way Astrid planned it. I want it to work as well. "Should I act as a boyfriend? I don't know how that goes." I asked her. "Relax, I got you." She said and it was already dismissal time. Everyone started getting out of their classrooms.

I was too busy laughing at Astrid, that I didn't even notice Jack was standing outside their room, looking at us painfully. What's he looking like that for?

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There it goes! Astrid and Hiccup putting up a fake relationship so they could benefit each other.