Who Am I to Love You? (HiJack)

15

hiccup.

"Hold up, no way." 

Jace, at the moment, was stripping me because he's captivated by me or whatever he meant! "Didn't you want to forget about Jack?" He asked. "I do, but not this way. You're crazy." I said, calmer than I usually am. I'm about to get raped by a school doctor and I'm the calmest I've been. Jace suddenly got up and carried me to the bed. He tucked me in gently. "Just rest. If Jack comes here to find you, I'll tell him you're not here. Alright?" He said and I nodded. 

"Oh, sorry too. I almost raped you." 

"Apology accepted." 

He smiled painfully and left me to sleep. I'm so exhausted right now, I can't even rest peacefully. Maybe if I leave this school, this life, maybe I won't see Jack again. If I could do that easily, I could live as a peaceful man! I could fall in love without getting hurt. I can be normal. 

But why does the image of Jack keep reappearing in my mind?

The door of the school clinic suddenly opened and I peeked through the curtain of my room. It was Jack, and he was panting. Did he ran all the way here, without stopping? "Jack, what brings you here?" Jace asked. Jack looked around and saw me peeping through the curtain. I got surprised and lied down at the bed again. 

"Is Hiccup here?" He asked.

"No, he's not. Sorry." Jace said. 

I got nervous that he might push the curtains to the side and see me lying down here. The silence around us just keeps me getting more and more nervous. "I understand." Jack said. I suddenly got slightly pissed off that he didn't bother to see me. I don't even understand myself. "Before you go, let me tell you something Jack." I was surprised and got off the bed to take a look at what's happening. Why is Jace holding off Jack?

"What is it, doc?" 

"Stay away from Hiccup if all you're doing is hurting him. He's not meant to suffer this much. Give him to me, and you can forget about anything else." 

I was shocked. I'm not something to be bargained for! I'm not a deal for a million dollars! Why are they doing this to me?! "What makes you so sure that I'll give him that easy? Are you kidding me?!" Jack shouted. "I can treat him better. You're just hurting him and he always cries about you. I don't get what's with you that's so good." Jace said. 

"Whatever, I won't give Hiccup to you." Jack said. 

"Why not? Do you love him? You don't, do you? You can't do it with a guy." 

My skin hair rose up. I don't want to hear anymore of this. "I...I.." Jack didn't know what to say. I don't want to end up getting caught up in here anymore. I've had enough of this game! "Shut up. Both of you." I said. I couldn't take it any longer. They both think I have to choose one of them and that makes them better? Shut up. I'm a man too. I'm my own man. And right now, I don't want to see either of them.

"Hiccup." They both said. 

Tears started to fall from my eyes. I eyed Jace. "You, you're mature enough to handle your own crisis. Don't make me some sort of deal you can bargain for!" I shouted and he nodded quietly. Then now, I looked at Jack. I stared at his eyes, dead cold. "And you Jack, I don't have much to say anything to you. Everything hurts when I'm around you and I wish you'd just reject me straight out and tell me I'm delusional. Then that way, I can forget you, and you can forget about me." I said then walked out the room. 

No one deserves this kind of treatment. No one should feel as if they are just toys to be fed to a guy's ego. I'm still ashamed, embarrassed, and most of all disappointed. My first love is scraps, and my friend tried to make a deal just to get me. It's not romantic, in fact it's a bad move! If you want to get the one you love, woo them! Don't make them like an exclusive deal. 

I was so tired that I decided to cut class and go home already. Dad was home, but he didn't ask me why I got home early. I just went upstairs to my bedroom and cried for a couple of hours. He knocked on my door several times, but I never opened it. 

"Hey Hiccup, I made dinner." He said. 

"I can't eat today." I said. 

Suddenly, my doorknob started twitching and turning. Dad opened my door with a key and he gave me dinner. "Do you want to go to school tomorrow?" He asked and I shook my head. "Why didn't you scold me earlier? I cut classes." I said and he patted my head. "You know, I also used to do that! Kind of makes me tough. I understand you're going through something right now. I consult your mom in case you go haywire." He said and I smirked. Haywire? You mean in case I stray from the path of heterosexuality?

Opening up to my dad won't be easy, and it will take time for him to accept or none at all. "Dad, what if I told you I'm in love with a man?" I asked him and of course, he was shocked. But then he laughed. "Nothing I can do! You still have my blood therefore you're still my son. But are you telling the truth, though?" He said and I shook my head. "Nevermind that. I'll tell you when you're older." I said and he smacked me. "Better tell me tomorrow then! I'm getting older by the minute!" He said and left my room. 

Ha, I wish I would just forget Jack. Then everything would be so much easier.

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yeah hiccup do that