Who Am I to Love You? (HiJack)

6

jack.

Lately, I think my best friend has been avoiding me.

I don't get it either, I just feel like he's gone a little distant to the point I couldn't reach him. It's a metaphorical thing, I don't expect myself to get it either. He talks to me if I initiate the conversation. I think it started the past year, when I got myself a girlfriend. Since then, he's been avoiding me. I felt like I'm not talking to him, but his shell. 

Every time I was with him, I see his expressions get more and more blank. Like he doesn't want to be with me at that very moment, so we end up suspending every hang out to a short one. I didn't want to be misguided by my thoughts, so I want to shrug it off. So I think the main reason why he's like this can only be that. 

He longs for a girlfriend.

Maybe, he's distracted by Thiana and I so he's getting farther from us both. Me, especially. He's trying not to be a third wheel, and I completely understand him. That's why I go home with Thiana, and not him. I think he would understand because I need time with my girlfriend. And as far as I know, I've devoted most of my time to him. So by following that thought, I knew we would get closer again, that I could break his shell once more.

But I'm nowhere near as I thought I would be.

My bestfriend's still distant and I couldn't break the boundaries between us. As his childhood bestfriend and all-time partner-in-crime, I think I've been a failure to cheer him up. I think I have done something completely horrible to him, and I just didn't notice. But I kept thinking what could I have done to make him this upset!

When all I did was make him happy. 

I tried to cope up with it, even though I knew I was the source of his unhappiness, somehow I still don't know the reason for it. Recently though, I learned he got himself a girlfriend. Although there was this snap in my chest and I felt the urge to ignore it, I was honestly relieved it wasn't him that confessed. But honestly, why am I feeling relieved for? Is it because he didn't confess and it made me happy? That can't be. The least I could do for now is to be happy for him because that's what bestfriends do. 

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two chapters in one day! hurrah!