Do you want to live this way? (CROWEN)

Chapter 1

She is tired. Tired of everything. A part of herself has been lost and tiny pieces of her has been scattered everywhere. She feels incomplete,unhappy and guilty. They say motherhood changes you, they say you feel such unimaginable joy when you become a mother,but in her case it's not. She is mother of 2 in fact, yet she still feels that her life is screwed.

It is true, if she would be honest to herself - she is fxcked up. She does not know why she decided to have  children,maybe because of the love or the curiousity, maybe to fit to the norm, or to be more human, to have a purpose? Oh screw it, to do surgery is her purpose and her job is still her priority. But an unknown force made her life change in a complete turn.  Do not get her wrong though, motherhood is a difficult role for her but she have to admit she loves her children so much, as she mentioned to her husband, if she'll have a baby she will love it.  She loves her husband too, so much that she gave him two beautiful children. Yet, for her it is unfair, she is lost and less of herself the more she spends time with them. As she said to her person, she feels like sleepwalking all the time, she still does...until now. She strongly believe that her children deserve a 100% devoted mother and her husband deserves a loving wife.

What she might do maybe unforgivable at first and no loving mother or wife would do but she needs to do it, for her children's sake, for her husband and for herself. The more she feels down, the more she is afraid that shw  might regret her actions one day - she might slash her wrist, drown herself on the bathtub or much worst endanger the life of her own children. This is not easy for her, it will never be, it took her a lot of courage to pack her things, leave her family- her 5 year old son, 1 year old baby and husband. She stepped out of their doorstep and said to herself " I'll come back soon,my boys, you all Take Care Now".

She walked away and never looked back.

--

Owen woke startled by the loud cries of his youngest son. He quickly went to the other room to change his son's diaper and onesie. He then went to the kitchen to get the bottle of milk then feed it to their baby. As, he shut the door of the refrigerator, he then notice a white envelope with his name on it. 

He read the letter and feel so devastated with every word written on it, " How can she do this" is the only thing he said since he did not want to outburst the anger he is feeling inside while carrying his son. All he did was crumpled the paper on his hand and throw it away in the counter that's when he notice his eldest son who just woke up standing by the dining area.  "Daddy? Where is Momma?" His son asked. "Come here, buddy" the boy went to his father and hug him on his waist. Owen deeply sighed, carefully hugs his two sons and said to himself

 "Oh, Cristina. What have you done?"