[Group: Vaping Must Impress Nicotine]
[13:42]
[jjk.art added joonglebells to group]
joonglebells: jeongguk, i am confused as to where you have brought me. my hypothesis is this is an odd group chat, judging by the name. along with that, i can assume there are a total of 6 people (may be less due to one person owning 2 or more accounts) in this group from the accounts listed. so, i can also assume this will be sending a multitude of notifications to my phone as well.
minswag: ok shut up namjoon. kookie, how the actual hell did you find his instagram?
jjk.art: he gave me his tumblr and after two hours of professional investigation, i found a link to his instagram
minswag: how'd he give you his tumblr?
jjk.art: he dmed me through ur account?
minswag: he took my phone?
joonglebells: ah no, remember how i told you i was beginning to studying code? after some time of coding i decided i should try a little bit of hacking to brush up my skills in general and i chose your account as a test subject for my experiments.
minswag: isn't hacking my account illegal?
joonglebells: actually, it's not. what i do after getting access to your account correlates with my illegal activity. i did not use your identity while talking to jeongguk, i simply used it to get in contact with him.
taekitback: iM here
joonglebells: well, if "here" is in korea (i assume) then yes, you are "here." however, you'd rather want to explain that currently your phone is processing code that will therefore allow you to get these messages through SMS.
taekitback: sweetie, your reply is SMS. so much shit. nobody but you cares as to where "here" is.
park.jimin: sweetie????
jjk.art: namjoon, this is why i said quick roasts. the less words, the less chance of tae striking u from where u least expect.
joonglebells: dully noted. can i get an introduction to everybody who's talking?
jjk.art: uh sure. that's tae's job so taek it away tae
minswag: why didn't i get an introduction?
park.jimin: we kinda already knew u like a book bc kookie's ur biggest fanboy so we figured we might as well stay anonymous so we could piss off kookie by exposing his fanboy ways
taekitback: so i take it you already know our man-baby jeongguk and the dick that i owe too much money to seeing they're on first name basis with you.
taekitback: i'm kim taehyung and i'm 21. i'm a professional detective and king of clap backs and roasts.
taekitback: park.jimin's (SUCH a creative username) name is- you guessed it- dwarf mochi. he's 21 and our favourite punching bag but dude's ripped so i suggest not trying anything in person. but he's pretty soft so i bet he can't do harm, it's just the intimidating looks.
park.jimin: DWARF MOCHI?
taekitback: and jungstallion is jung hoseok, he's 23 and the sunshine of our group. he's kinda dull when texting, though.
joonglebells: oh, hobi? is he around at the moment?
park.jimin: yeah hang on he's dancing in front of the mirror. i'll tell him to pick up his phone.
jungstallion: jimin if you're in the same room as me, there is no need to spam me with texts and call me. just TELL me to get on my phone.
park.jimin: idk hyung, i saved u some time. think about it, by calling u, u already have ur phone in ur hands so u can get here faster.
joonglebells: yo hoseok
jungstallion: who's that
minswag: namjoon
jungstallion: JOOOONIE HYUNG! holy shit long time no talk! how've you been my dude? how's seokjin?
joonglebells: i've been good. actually, our three year anniversary is coming up so yeah, seokjin's been great. how've you been?
jungstallion: ah things have been nice since i left japan. but i miss you and seokjin lots we have to meet up sometime
park.jimin: yikes "i miss you and seokjin [only]" how much does that hurt suga
minswag: i'm not as weak as you kid, it doesn't hurt at all
park.jimin: woah, weak? wanna fight me
minswag: come at me i'll fuck you up
jjk.art: minus up
joonglebells: why wasn't i made aware that jeongguk is this gross
taekitback: he's a widow main it goes without saying
minswag: kookie's grossness aside, i will actually sock you in the jaw.
park.jimin: ... idk suga lets just solve this peacefully
joonglebells: "suga" is literally a twig you can take him out with one punch
jjk.art: one punch?
taekitback: namjoon what have you started
jjk.art: ONE PUNNNCH
taekitback: kookie would literally shave his head for one punch
park.jimin: he'd shave his head for suga 2
park.jimin: he'd shave suga's name into his forehead
park.jimin: he'd shave suga's art into his forehead
jjk.art: WE GET IT
joonglebells: so i can conclude my hypothesis was correct. this group chat is solely spam and pointless conversations.
jungstallion: welcome to vaping must impress nicotine, you'll need some nicotine to stay a little sane
minswag: a little?
jungstallion: about 50 cigarettes.
