He is smart, rich and handsome. A child prodigy. Girls love him and boys respect him. In short he is the epitome of perfection, looked up by everyone. The perfect one. But one thing. He hates the female population with a passion right from his child...
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"Let's cancel our engagement Gouenji."
"What?" Everyone shouted shocked. I forgot that others are here. Even Gouenji was shocked at my sudden announcement if the slight widening of his eyes is anything to go by. I stood up and took his hand dragging him out to the balcony of the hotel. I will explain to our friends later everything very clearly but this conversation is one to be held in private. Gouenji followed me silently and his walls are up again guarding everything not letting me know what he is feeling.
In this moment I wish I could read minds so that I can know what he is thinking? I admit I would feel above the sky if he shows even a little disappointment at the cancel of our engagement. Though he may not love me I will feel happy, even if a little. I wish I am a fairy or cupid to turn his heart and make him love me. But that is the catch. Love is a matter of heart, it cannot be dictated by money, people or even our own mind. I wish I had the magic in me to make him love me.
"Why?" He asked me just one word preventing me from knowing what he is feeling even from his words and his voice is neutral.
"I know you might hate me after this but please listen to me completely and it was unintentional." I said looking at him guiltily and with pleading eyes. I don't know what to do if he leaves me after what I tell him. I don't want him to hate me. If he hates me what can I do? He is a master and I am sure his ways to avoid me would also be epic. I don't want to be away from him. I don't want to be hated and avoided by him.
Gouenji stared at me for a full on five minutes as if to predict what I have to say and I stayed silent under his gaze, mentally breaking down. I really don't want to tell him all this and just marry him and make him mine. That will be very easy but very difficult at the same time. For one even after knowing clearly now if I go on with my plan that would be deception in its finest form and there would be no difference between me and the girls who plan to have him. I can't stoop that low and that wouldn't be fair to Gouenji. Secondly even if I marry him I can't have his love. In the future he might find his love and leave me and I don't want to have that and I am sure I will be in deep in the future.
I don't want to regret this in the future. No matter what happens I will tell him the truth and try for his love. I will try to express myself and may be I can turn his heart. I will try the very best I can so that I can turn his heart. What can/will I do? That I don't know since I barely know about love but I know that if I don't try I will regret it very much, so I will tell him what I feel. Even if he rejects me I will try and then may be sometime in the future I can forget him and find someone else. It will be hard to forget him since he is the first person I loved but they say time is a great healer, so it will heal. It have to heal.
