Broken and Healing. - Jonathan Toews fanfic

Chapter 66

                *Alex's P.O.V.*

Vivian is playing on my phone, when "Chelsea Dagger" interrupts her.

She looks over at me, "answer it." I tell her.

"Hello?" She says. Her eyes go wide, and she grins. "Of course!" She passes the phone to me her eyebrows dancing.

"Hello?" I say.

"Alex, i miss you." Was the first thing i heard. Oh hearing his voice again is amazing. After so long, his voice is still a song to me.

"Jonathan." I say. I knew who he wa ls right away without doubt.

"Yeah." He says, "We haven't talked."

"In a year." I finish for him.

"This just got awkward for me." He says.

"Great game tonight! It really got me and Viv pumped up." I grin.

"Yes. It was fun." I can hear his smile.

"So....what's up?" I ask him.

"Um...can I see you again?" He asks. Its not to the point, and I'm a bit confused.

"You're in Chicago, remember?" I say, still confused.

"No, i know. I mean we don't have another game in a few days. I'm planning on going up to Toronto. Is that okay if I meet up with you? Just as friends. I mean like old friends you know, a reunion..." he babbles.

I laugh at his nervousness. "Yeah, yeah, it's fine. Didn't you find it weird that we lost contact?" I ask him. Its been something I've been dying to know why. I didn't even know if i would ever see him again.

"Mhmm," he agrees, "you never called, so i assumed you didn't want anything to do with me." He admits.

I nod. "There was just too much going on at the time. University is easier now, and spring break is here. I'm excited for your visit."

I hear him breath out relieved.

"Why are you so nervous?" I ask.

"I...it's just that....Alex, i haven't stopped thinking about you this past year. It's been a YEAR, and i find myself wanting to call everyday. The game tonight gave me encouragement to call." He sighs.

"Then why didn't you call? I would've been happy to talk to you." I reason.

"You never called me." He says.

"You didnt call me!" I exclaim laughing.

"Fair enough..." he trails off. "I should've called earlier."

"Yes." I agree.

"Hey do you know who i saw today?" He suddenly says excited. "Tristan Raminder!" He says.

The memory instantly pops into my head. "Oh the little boy! How is he?" I gush.

He chuckles. "He still remembers us. He asked me where you were. That's what also showed me a sign that its time to find you again."

"What did you tell him?" I ask.

"I said i don't know." He says.

"What are we?" I ask him, suddenly. Friends? Together? At this point it really IS beyond complicated.

"Friends..." he trails off. "You know that I like you, and i know that you like me. I can feel it Alex, you make me feel special. But yet, you don't want to be together with me."

"Oh come on Jonny! You know it's nothing personal. The only reason really is that I'm in school. I feel too young around you. It's just a feeling i can't explain. Jonny, we're 5 years apart."

"Oh really? So that's what's making you back away from your feelings? It's just five years, Alex." He sounds frustrated.

"No, Jonny, i don't think you understand. No one even knew that we were a couple excpet Vivian. Oh right and half of the world because of the internet. What i want to do, is pursue who I want to be first, and then be with you. You know, so people will except me for who I am, instead of being 'Jonathan Toews girlfriend.' I thought about this long and hard. Not yet, Jonny."

I hear him breathe heavily on the other end. "I don't know if i can wait another 2 years," he says truthfully. "It's killing me not to see you."

"You can still talk with me through email and stuff...it's just that we're just friends. It's killing me too, Jonny." I say.

"Okay. Okay, fine. But is it just because of the press and the paparazzi? Because don't let that worry you." He says.

"You know how the fans could be. You're handsome, and you've got many fans that are girls. Jonathan, i did my research. They despised Lindsey! What would they think of me? I don't want half the world calling me a puck slut when I'm not." I tell him.

He laughs, and I'm confused. "What?" I ask.

"That was Lindsey! Obviously everyone disliked her! But you're you, and you're likable. Likable people like you will be loved. Don't worry, the guys love you, the fans love you. Oh and Andrew is dying to see you! Shawzy is attached to you!" He laughs again.

Suddenly, it seems as if we never lost contact. He was still my Jonny, and i was still the same broken girl he healed.

"I love you." I cut him off.

There was a long pause, and the only thing telling me Jonathan hadn't hung up was his soft breathing.

"Don't do that to me." He finally says.

"Do what?" I ask.

"You tell me you love me, you cuddle with me, and then you say we can't be together. Don't." He says simply.

"I'm sorry. I really can't help it! Oh god. Okay i won't. Okay." I place my head in my hands feeling terrible.

"Good. Can't wait to see you this week though!" He says.

"Yes." I agree. "I have to go now, but I'll see you soon."

"Goodnight, Alex." He says.